1 00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,748 ♪ I understand♪ 2 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,534 ♪ I understand♪ 3 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,189 ♪ Ladies, they love me They know me ♪ 4 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,234 ♪ 'Cause I am the man♪ 5 00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,714 ♪ I-I-I know it's hard ♪ 6 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:04,107 ♪ For you to comprehend♪ 7 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,372 ♪ I under-- I under-- I understand♪ 8 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,245 ♪ I got the mojo Ladies, they wanna Hop on it like pogo♪ 9 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,290 ♪ Haters act Like they don't know But they know though♪ 10 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,466 ♪ Life is a dance And this is my solo, uh♪ 11 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,297 ♪ Ladies, they love me They know me 'Cause I am the man♪ 12 00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:22,343 ♪ I understand♪ 13 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ I understand I understand♪ 14 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,132 ♪ I understand I understand♪ 15 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:33,702 ♪ I am the man I am the man♪ 16 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:35,356 ♪ I understand♪ 17 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:55,202 Morning, bug. You ready? 18 00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:56,638 Let's get this show on the road. 19 00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:04,254 -Give me a couple minutes, Mom? -Not today. You got early therapy. 20 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:07,475 -Alrighty, here we go. 21 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:13,394 That's one, two, buckle my bug. 22 00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,179 And I don't know how many times we can go through recycling. 23 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,833 You gotta break down your boxes. 24 00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:20,183 You have to break down your boxes, you know? 25 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,837 And also, the recycling, it's ridiculous. 26 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,275 -Can you go around just for today? -I gotta get you clean. 27 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:28,191 -It's perfectly normal. -You're right, Ma. 28 00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:31,281 Twenty-four years old, you're washing my balls. It's perfectly normal. 29 00:02:31,325 --> 00:02:33,805 It just seems very, very rude. I mean, I don't know how many times 30 00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,286 you can email and text and call. 31 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:37,853 You know, I just can't, I can't go to everything. 32 00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,247 I actually don't like to go to the public movie theaters 33 00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:43,467 because you don't know about bedbugs and stuff like that. 34 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:47,341 I don't have to listen to any rude teenagers or people talking to the screen. 35 00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:52,259 And you know how sometimes when people say something funny during the trailer, 36 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:55,784 and then they start really feeling their oats, and they just keep it going, 37 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,568 you know what I mean? They should just quit while they're ahead, 38 00:02:57,612 --> 00:03:00,963 but they just keep on yapping. Careful. 39 00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,407 - Hey. - Hey, Mo. 40 00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:28,208 You have lovely hair. 41 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:30,688 Thanks, man. 42 00:03:37,391 --> 00:03:38,348 Ah! 43 00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:41,525 -Good morning, Mo. -Hey, Sarah, how's it going? 44 00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,701 -Pretty good. How are you? -Good. 45 00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:47,357 Uhm, hey, did you do this new schedule? 46 00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:50,708 -I did. -Oh, you accidentally put the new guy with Becky. 47 00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,929 -Wasn't an accident. -Mo, Scotty's going to freak out. 48 00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:57,280 Yeah, well, he led me into the ladies' room at the movie theaters is why. 49 00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:59,587 No. Were there other people in there? 50 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,372 Not at first, but then I guess some big movie let out, 51 00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,245 the women just kept on coming and coming and coming, so I just stayed in there. 52 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,247 Then I guess another movie let out. It must have been 45 minutes. 53 00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:08,552 I went to the bathroom two times. 54 00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:10,467 -This is revenge. -Oh. 55 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:14,950 -Hey, Scotty. -Hi. 56 00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,647 Hey, is that Scotty? What's up, buddy? 57 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,302 -Who the hell's Matt? -Mo did the schedule. 58 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,783 Mo, you blind douche fuck! 59 00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,567 Is this about the ladies' room? That was a joke. 60 00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,395 Uhm, this is funnier. 61 00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:29,007 Hey, I'm Matt Kwong. I'm a new patient. 62 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:32,837 Oh, welcome. Just sign in right here. 63 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:36,450 You're gonna be with Becky in room one, just right over there. 64 00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:38,626 -Thank you. -Yeah. 65 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:44,545 Excuse me. 66 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:05,914 Hi. 67 00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:12,050 ♪ I understand I understand♪ 68 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:16,011 ♪ I am the man I am the man♪ 69 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,449 ♪ I understand♪ 70 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,016 Scotty. Morning. 71 00:05:22,844 --> 00:05:23,845 What's the matter? 72 00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:25,977 Look alive, boys! 73 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:31,679 -All right, asshole, we're even. 74 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,986 Uh, look at the bright side. 75 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,685 At least with Renaldo, you don't pitch a tent during therapy. 76 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,123 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 77 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,517 When Becky was stretching you out last week, Ronnie walked by, 78 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,389 -said you were sporting a full-on panhandle. -That cocksucker. 79 00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,391 Come on, let's see what you got, let's see what you got. 80 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,872 - Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! - Come on, Rick! 81 00:05:50,915 --> 00:05:52,352 Steal second. 82 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,051 -Do you know what you're saying? -Nah, not really. 83 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:58,836 - Not at all. 84 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,841 -Oh, you fucking kidding me? -What's going on? 85 00:06:03,885 --> 00:06:05,539 - Oh, my God. - What? 86 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,628 - I can't believe this guy. -Wait, where are you going? 87 00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:09,499 Hey, yo, Biceps. 88 00:06:09,543 --> 00:06:11,675 Just so we're clear, there's a pecking order around here. 89 00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:14,374 The very top, me. Down at the very bottom, you. 90 00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,550 Becky's my physical therapist. You get the hairy Spaniard. 91 00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,813 I don't make the schedule, guy. 92 00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:22,556 -Yo, yo, what are you doing? -Say it! Becky's mine. 93 00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,688 -What is wrong with you, man? -Say it. 94 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:26,124 Yeah, yeah, Becky's yours. 95 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:29,954 -Shit. -That's a grandma chair, by the way. 96 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:32,087 You look fucking ridiculous out here. Get yourself a new chair. 97 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,920 - What's happening? Here we go. 98 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:43,751 He gonna make it? 99 00:06:50,192 --> 00:06:51,715 -Great job. -Thanks, baby. 100 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:53,935 Yeah. 101 00:06:57,895 --> 00:06:59,070 What are you looking at? 102 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,770 Sorry, man. no offense. Just... 103 00:07:03,988 --> 00:07:05,120 damn. Good for you. 104 00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,430 You got it bad, huh? 105 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,432 -For what? -Blue balls. 106 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,956 Shit, man, try fossilized. 107 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,001 Yeah. 108 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,568 I got something for you. 109 00:07:20,657 --> 00:07:21,963 Here, take this. 110 00:07:29,057 --> 00:07:30,450 What is this? 111 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,452 The answer to your prayers. 112 00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:33,540 You'll thank me later. 113 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,498 You will. 114 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,544 All right. 115 00:07:55,562 --> 00:08:00,523 Bonjour. My name is Philippe. I am physically disabled. 116 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:04,614 For many years, I struggled with sexual encounters. 117 00:08:04,658 --> 00:08:10,185 It was really getting me down, until I met a beautiful professional like this one. 118 00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:17,018 And then I decided to open my own brothel to help people like you. 119 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,891 Welcome to Le Chateau Paradis. 120 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,024 Come as you are. 121 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,774 -Good night, Mom. -Good night, bug. I love you. 122 00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,534 See you next week, gorgeous. 123 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:58,189 -Stay out of trouble, killer. -Oh, don't you tell me what to do. 124 00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:03,543 Yo, Biceps. Hey, about last time, I'm sorry. I was having an off day. 125 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,022 Yeah, don't sweat it. 126 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,242 -Matt, right? -Yeah. 127 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,158 I'm Scotty. Let me buy you a beer to make up for it. 128 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:13,901 -Nah, I got my mom with me. -Yeah, me too. We'll sit by ourselves. 129 00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:16,033 It's important. I wanna talk to you about something. 130 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,950 -You wanna-- move over. -Yeah. 131 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,125 -You go first. -Yep. 132 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,869 I was always a straight-C student. And that's a gentleman's C, 133 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:29,220 that's a gentleman C, I was always a terrible, terrible student. 134 00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,571 Actually, on my SATs, my math SAT... 135 00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,010 -Forget them, cheers. -Cheers. 136 00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:51,634 Mm-hmm. Ah, that's nice. 137 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:55,856 -So, what happened to you? -Wow, you don't beat around the bush. 138 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,075 What's the point? You know that's what everybody's wondering anyway. 139 00:09:58,119 --> 00:09:59,990 It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's usually a pretty good story. 140 00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,601 I never said I was ashamed of it. 141 00:10:01,644 --> 00:10:03,124 -Don't you wanna know why I am in this chair? -No. 142 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:05,126 Congenital defect, baby. I was born this way. 143 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:07,607 -My joints are for shit. -What did you wanna talk to me about? 144 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,304 Your sex life. 145 00:10:10,087 --> 00:10:11,045 Uh-huh. 146 00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,265 Come on, man. What would you rather talk about, interest rates? 147 00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:18,052 -You're a virgin, right? -Uh-- Wow, just-- 148 00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:21,185 That's a yes. Tell me your junk still works 'cause that would be a serious bummer. 149 00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,274 No, it works. It's just a little-- 150 00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:26,190 less predictable at times, if you know what I mean. 151 00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:31,239 -Do I know what you mean? -Bro, I live what you mean. Sip. 152 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,375 Oh. 153 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:44,818 -What's it to you? -Well, besides my mouth, 154 00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,908 about the only other thing that works on my body is my cock. 155 00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:51,825 And I may be a cripple, but I can still feel everything and I got motherfucking needs, 156 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:52,956 you know what I mean? 157 00:10:56,090 --> 00:11:01,269 Anyway, what if I told you there was a place for guys like us to get seriously laid? 158 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,664 Don't look at me like I'm a perv. We're in the same boat, dude. 159 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,143 I'm just honest about it. 160 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:08,015 Now the place is up in Montreal. 161 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,408 I checked out the website, LeChateauParadis.ca. 162 00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,845 'Cause you know, Canada. 163 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:16,371 And let me tell you, man, the chicks are spectacular. 164 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,940 Why are you telling me all this? 165 00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:23,944 Me and this blind dude, Mo, from the clinic, are gonna go, 166 00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:26,033 but we need one more guy to split the cost of the van. 167 00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:27,904 What, you're gonna drive there? 168 00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:32,735 I priced the whole thing out with a nurse driver. 169 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,738 The van fits three passengers, plus chairs and gear. 170 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:38,306 We tell our parents we're going up to the Great Lakes or some shit, 171 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:42,353 and instead we do a border run for a few days of getting our knobs polished 172 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:45,008 by French-Canadian goddesses. Sip. 173 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:52,886 -So, what do you say? Are you in or are you in? -I'm definitely out. 174 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:57,847 -Did you hear the part about getting your knob polished? -Mm-hmm. 175 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:01,416 Thanks for the offer, but as much as it may surprise you, 176 00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,333 -I have a girlfriend. -Seriously? 177 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:06,726 Yeah. Good luck on your trip. 178 00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:10,860 -Take pictures. -She hot? Does she have cute friends? 179 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,863 Wait, come on man, we could double date. Help a brother out. 180 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,737 Shit. 181 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:52,293 So, you're gonna make a wish when this falls off or something? 182 00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:53,816 Wanna guess what I'm gonna wish for? 183 00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,427 Uhm, that-- 184 00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,256 Matt. 185 00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:03,347 -I thought you had a final. -I got out early. 186 00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,136 Uh, this is Bobby. 187 00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,529 -We have Bio together. -We were just studying. 188 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,229 I-I didn't realize you, uh-- 189 00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,145 Uhm-- 190 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,150 You didn't realize what? 191 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,806 -Uh-- -That, uh-- 192 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,504 Uh, uh-- 193 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,551 Yeah, oh, you didn't realize that she had a boyfriend. That's what you're getting at. 194 00:13:33,595 --> 00:13:36,250 No, I mean, she talks about you all the time. 195 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:38,208 Oh. 196 00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,123 Is that right? 197 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:46,260 I should get to class. I'll call you later. 198 00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:48,131 For the exam, I mean. 199 00:13:50,177 --> 00:13:51,961 Sure, hope it's a speech class. 200 00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:56,836 -We were just studying. -No, don't insult me. 201 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,838 Please. 202 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:01,623 You know, I gave you an out 203 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,974 -when this all started. -I didn't want out, Matt. 204 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,323 I had options too, you know. 205 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:09,892 But I waited for you. 206 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,550 I have to start thinking about my future. 207 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:36,397 Bonjour. My name is Philippe. 208 00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:46,233 -Jamie, can't you knock? -Mom says dinner in five minutes. 209 00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,412 -Nice pictures by the way. -Out. 210 00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,637 What do you guys think about... 211 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:04,251 me going on a road trip with some guys up north, 212 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:05,643 maybe around the Great Lakes? 213 00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:14,435 Well, it seems hardly like a good time, Matty, 214 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,307 with everything that's going on. 215 00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,222 Well, I mean, that's exactly why I wanna go. 216 00:15:19,266 --> 00:15:20,528 It seems like I'm doing nothing 217 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,573 but going to doctors and therapy. 218 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,971 We're going up to Grandma's for a long weekend next month. 219 00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,408 You could invite Jennifer. 220 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:37,632 I asked to go on a road trip with some guys, 221 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:41,375 and you counter with a weekend at Grandma's. 222 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,208 Well, we're gonna have to say no on this one, Matty. 223 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:50,645 I'm sorry. 224 00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,320 ♪ Half man and half machine♪ 225 00:16:57,364 --> 00:17:00,758 ♪ Not talking about the chair But what's in between My legs♪ 226 00:17:00,802 --> 00:17:03,326 ♪ Girl, take your time You don't need to be quick♪ 227 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,720 ♪ Come and get your some Of this quadriplegic♪ 228 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,678 -What the fuck? -You have a visitor. 229 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,119 What's up? 230 00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:18,602 I like these ferns. 231 00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:21,823 Yeah, they're, uh-- 232 00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:27,133 -Yeah, they're, you know. -Listen, I've been thinking about your idea. 233 00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:29,570 My parents say it's a no-go. 234 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:39,058 Now that our moms talk, if we were to do this, 235 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:42,583 -it has to be totally black ops, you follow? -I think so, yeah. 236 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:44,280 It means your mom can't help you pack, 237 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,326 she can't help you pay for it. 238 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,284 Okay, might need a cheaper driver. 239 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:50,765 I've been saving up some money for an iPad comm system, 240 00:17:50,808 --> 00:17:52,506 but fucking honeys come first. 241 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,162 I say we go sooner, like next week. 242 00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,556 Whoa. Why the rush? 243 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,210 You-- you never know. 244 00:18:01,254 --> 00:18:05,084 I mean, if we're gonna do this, let's do it. 245 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,563 Okay. What about your girlfriend? 246 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,438 Just get Mo over here. Let's start planning. 247 00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,223 -Mo? -Yeah, Mo. 248 00:18:14,267 --> 00:18:16,225 Your friend Mo. You said he was down, right? 249 00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,401 Mo, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he's down. 250 00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:19,750 He's probably most likely down. 251 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,623 He's probably most likely down. What do you mean? 252 00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,539 I haven't exactly asked him yet. 253 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:28,411 -You haven't asked him yet?! -Shh! Keep it down. 254 00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,544 I was worried if there were too many variables, you'd say no. 255 00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,198 Then if you said yes, I'd have time to work on Mo. 256 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:33,982 Now all of a sudden, you're in a big fucking hurry, 257 00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:36,115 and I don't have everything worked out just yet. But it's fine. 258 00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,335 I'll get Mo on the horn, just convince him to go. 259 00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,904 -Hey, look at me, trust me. I can handle Mo. 260 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:49,258 A brothel in Quebec? What are you-- no way! 261 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:51,391 Could you take your tampon out for half a goddamn minute 262 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,827 while we tell you the details at least? 263 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,785 Let me tell you a little something about Canada. 264 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,744 Fact: The Canadian government has been cracking down 265 00:18:56,787 --> 00:18:59,355 on erotic massage parlors since 2014. 266 00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:02,532 Fact: Arrested sex workers have tripled in the last two years. 267 00:19:02,576 --> 00:19:06,449 Fact: It's only illegal to buy sexual services. You can still make donations. 268 00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:09,626 I looked this up too. And fact: When's the last time you got laid, Mo? 269 00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:12,281 -Oh, that's right, never. -Oh, well unlike you Scotty, 270 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:16,155 that's not all I ever think about. What I do think about is logistics. 271 00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,461 Do you know this would take months, months of planning? 272 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:21,551 -Of course, you don't know that. -Me and Biceps have planned the whole route. 273 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:24,250 -I fucking hate that name. -We got hotel rooms booked at every stop. 274 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,687 -What? No! -We budgeted all the meals. Why are you undermining me? 275 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,819 You are making us look fucking weak right now. 276 00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,865 -Shut the fuck up! -Look, Mo, Mo, look, listen. 277 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:35,174 Part of the fun is that this is spontaneous, okay? 278 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:38,177 When's the last time you did something kind of crazy? 279 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:42,355 Yeah, look, here's the thing. I don't do spontaneous things. That's not my thing. 280 00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:43,617 I don't even know why you need me. 281 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,707 The van fits three, but only two wheelchairs, 282 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,796 and I don't happen to know any other disabled virgins 283 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:50,363 with working legs and enough cash. 284 00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:53,409 You know what? Nice meeting you, Muscles. 285 00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:56,760 -Go fuck yourself, Scotty. -Wow. 286 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,850 -You are horrible at this. -No, no, you know what? 287 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,765 You're a fucking mule. You're so stubborn. 288 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,854 You gotta know when you lost somebody. He's out. 289 00:20:03,898 --> 00:20:05,682 I'll put an ad out on Craigslist or something. 290 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:08,250 -Let's go. -Yeah, do a Craigslist ad. 291 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,471 -Virgins looking for more virgins. -I don't even want you to come. 292 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,951 -We're gonna have a great time. Go fuck yourself. -Great sales pitch, 293 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,649 and then now you're getting on Craigslist. 294 00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,520 Mo, Mo, let me talk to you for a second. 295 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:20,219 It's like he went to business school. Guy just knows what he's doing. 296 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:24,527 -Fucking prick. -First of all, my sincerest apologies. 297 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:27,530 How you are friends with that guy is totally beyond me. 298 00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:30,707 Okay, look, all that stuff about the brothel, about the getting laid, 299 00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,666 all that stuff, that's Scotty, okay? 300 00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:34,407 That's not me. What I'm proposing-- 301 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:39,281 What we're proposing is a trip away from Littleton. 302 00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:43,894 Okay? With just us guys, away from parents, from the clinics, from the doc-- 303 00:20:46,854 --> 00:20:48,595 It's just, I don't know about you, 304 00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:50,945 okay, but I-- 305 00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:54,775 I need to get out. 306 00:21:02,783 --> 00:21:04,306 I could use a field trip. 307 00:21:06,787 --> 00:21:07,788 It's like a-- 308 00:21:08,832 --> 00:21:09,877 It's like a road trip. 309 00:21:14,011 --> 00:21:15,622 Promise you won't do anything illegal? 310 00:21:17,972 --> 00:21:19,278 Did I get to him? 311 00:21:22,324 --> 00:21:25,371 Damn it, Jamie. How many times do I have to tell you? 312 00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:28,635 Hey, hey. 313 00:21:35,903 --> 00:21:36,947 What's wrong? 314 00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:39,646 I don't wanna fight with you anymore. 315 00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:46,653 Hey, can I ask you something? 316 00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:49,830 It's gotta be a secret though. 317 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,485 You can't tell Mom and Dad. 318 00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:09,066 Fuck. 319 00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:18,075 Yo, sent you the itinerary. 320 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,687 Print it out, read the file, leave no trace. 321 00:22:20,730 --> 00:22:22,732 Found us a cheaper driver. His name is Sam. 322 00:22:22,776 --> 00:22:25,082 Van looks like shit, but the price is right. 323 00:22:25,126 --> 00:22:26,780 Make sure he has a valid passport. 324 00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:28,564 We don't wanna any snafus at the border. 325 00:22:31,045 --> 00:22:32,002 What's a snafu? 326 00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:35,484 -What about this one? -Are you kidding? That's ugly. 327 00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:38,357 What does that-- Jamaica. It says Jamaica. What am I gonna do with Jamaica? 328 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:42,056 -I can't read your fucking shirt, Scotty. -That's true. Put it in the bag. 329 00:22:52,545 --> 00:22:55,548 -Yup. -Operation Copulation is a go. 330 00:22:56,853 --> 00:22:58,899 We're not calling it that. See you at six. 331 00:23:00,727 --> 00:23:03,686 I know it seems silly, but I'd like to think I'm watching it in a wry eye, 332 00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:06,733 with an ironic eye, not earnestly. 333 00:23:06,776 --> 00:23:10,040 Here, not earnestly watch. I'm so sorry. Here. 334 00:23:11,564 --> 00:23:15,742 Oh, he did not give her a rose. You gotta be shitting me. 335 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,616 Goddamn it, Mom! How hard is it to aim for my mouth? 336 00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:25,099 I'm sorry! But did you see who he kept? Total bitch, total bitch. 337 00:23:25,142 --> 00:23:28,102 I'm sorry! I'm just compelled to watch shows I hate. 338 00:23:28,145 --> 00:23:32,541 -I'll eat tomorrow, I guess. -Come back. Come on. 339 00:23:43,987 --> 00:23:47,426 -Hey, bug, you can't sleep in your chair. 340 00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,123 Leave me alone. 341 00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:11,624 -Set alarm for five a.m. - Sorry, I'm not sure I understand. 342 00:24:12,625 --> 00:24:19,153 -Set alarm for five a.m. -I set an alarm for five a.m. 343 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,161 Okay. 344 00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:31,644 Light off. 345 00:24:57,887 --> 00:25:00,847 -Seriously? -To remind you of me. 346 00:25:03,937 --> 00:25:04,938 Fuck. 347 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:28,918 -Matt? -Yeah. Where's-- where's Scotty? 348 00:25:28,962 --> 00:25:30,746 I don't know, man. He's late. 349 00:25:30,790 --> 00:25:32,705 This is a horrible idea. 350 00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:35,055 He's not reliable. I'll tell you that much. 351 00:25:35,098 --> 00:25:38,885 You think it ends here? Big shocker, huh? 352 00:25:38,928 --> 00:25:40,843 I'm worried. If he's gonna be tardy all over the place, 353 00:25:40,887 --> 00:25:41,975 -it's probably messed-- -Shit. 354 00:25:42,018 --> 00:25:43,237 What? 355 00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:47,894 I guess Sam's a woman? 356 00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:51,550 - Sam the driver? - Sam the driver is a woman. 357 00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,856 We can't do this with a woman. I'm not going to a brothel with a woman. 358 00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:54,944 Well, it's too late to cancel. 359 00:25:56,859 --> 00:25:59,035 I can't do this with a woman. I can't go to a brothel with a woman. 360 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,863 You know what? Everything's messed up here. 361 00:26:00,907 --> 00:26:05,128 -Scotty's not here, we got a woman for a driver-- -Shh. Hi, Sam. 362 00:26:05,955 --> 00:26:08,654 -Hey, is that Sam? Hey. -Thank you. 363 00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:11,831 Looking forward to our trip together. I'm Mo, this-- 364 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,965 -She's friendly. -Yeah, she's chill. 365 00:26:16,009 --> 00:26:18,011 -Yeah, all the signs are real positive. -Yeah, let's go, let's go. 366 00:26:18,054 --> 00:26:20,100 -Yeah, we're off to a great start. -Hey, Sam? 367 00:26:20,143 --> 00:26:22,755 We need one extra stop, please. 368 00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:32,591 Fuck! 369 00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:50,391 Come on. Come on. Come on! 370 00:26:51,653 --> 00:26:53,307 Right here on the right. Just pull up to the curb. 371 00:27:14,981 --> 00:27:16,330 I told him to set two alarms. 372 00:27:16,373 --> 00:27:18,288 He's got no respect for other people's time. 373 00:27:18,332 --> 00:27:21,204 I told him we're on a schedule. Do not be late. Be early. 374 00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:40,397 Fuck! 375 00:27:40,441 --> 00:27:42,356 It was his plan. But he doesn't care. He doesn't have respect. 376 00:27:42,399 --> 00:27:45,446 -Yo, if he chickened out, we have to pay for it. -I'm not paying for it. 377 00:27:47,013 --> 00:27:48,014 There he is. 378 00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:02,202 - Where have you been? -Grab my pouch, on the ground. 379 00:28:02,245 --> 00:28:04,813 Who the hell are you? Matt. 380 00:28:04,857 --> 00:28:06,728 -Yeah, just get in. -Who the hell is she? 381 00:28:06,772 --> 00:28:09,165 - I told you to set two alarms. -I thought we had a guy driver. 382 00:28:09,209 --> 00:28:11,341 -I told you we're on a tight schedule. -You're ramming me. 383 00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:14,388 -I'm not ramming you. Get back. - You have no respect for anyone else's time. 384 00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:17,870 -Shut up! I had a thing. - You're the most unreliable person I've ever met in my life. 385 00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:19,436 - What's with you ramming into me all the time? - Just move back. 386 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,091 Just hold on. I'm just gonna walk. 387 00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,789 Whoo! 388 00:28:25,878 --> 00:28:27,357 -Whoo! -Whoo! 389 00:28:31,797 --> 00:28:34,016 -Road trip! -Field trip! 390 00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,236 Road trip! Road trip. 391 00:28:42,155 --> 00:28:43,504 Scotty. 392 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,829 -Ah, shit, it's my parents. -What? 393 00:29:03,872 --> 00:29:06,048 -It's my parents. -Take mine out, will you? 394 00:29:06,092 --> 00:29:07,267 -Wait, what happened? -Where is it? 395 00:29:07,310 --> 00:29:08,442 It's in the pouch. 396 00:29:11,445 --> 00:29:15,405 -Dude, it's your mom too. -Shit. Toss it. 397 00:29:15,449 --> 00:29:17,930 -What? -Seriously, toss it out the window. They can track us. 398 00:29:17,973 --> 00:29:19,409 It's the cost of freedom. Do it. 399 00:29:23,283 --> 00:29:25,415 -Mo, you too. -Did he just throw his phone out? 400 00:29:25,459 --> 00:29:27,069 - Mo, do it! -I'm not throwing my phone out! 401 00:29:27,113 --> 00:29:28,941 - Mo, throw it. - Mo, throw your phone out! 402 00:29:28,984 --> 00:29:31,813 -My mom knows you. She knows your mom. -It's a brand-new phone, man! 403 00:29:31,857 --> 00:29:33,293 -You know-- Fine! - Do it! 404 00:29:36,862 --> 00:29:38,211 What was that? 405 00:29:38,254 --> 00:29:40,082 It's my sim card. I threw out my sim card. 406 00:29:40,126 --> 00:29:41,867 -Fuck, that's a better idea. - So stupid. 407 00:29:47,916 --> 00:29:49,526 -Okay. -What's happening? Why are we stopping? 408 00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:54,531 -Hey. -What the fuck is going on here? 409 00:29:56,359 --> 00:29:58,274 We're taking a trip. The rest is none of your business. 410 00:29:58,318 --> 00:30:00,537 -Who is this chick, dude? -None of my business? 411 00:30:00,581 --> 00:30:05,804 You know what? It actually is my business if you're not supposed to go. 412 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,849 Hey, we're all adults here, sweetheart. 413 00:30:07,893 --> 00:30:09,851 What, just because I'm in a chair means I can't make a decision for myself? 414 00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:12,985 -I'm sorry. Who the fuck is sweetheart? -Scotty. 415 00:30:13,028 --> 00:30:14,551 No, no, no. I wanna hear what she has to say. 416 00:30:14,595 --> 00:30:16,205 Go on, sweetheart, what are you gonna say? 417 00:30:16,249 --> 00:30:18,904 Okay, great, so I'm sweetheart. Let me tell you something, okay? 418 00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:22,298 You call me sweetheart one more time, I'm gonna bust you in your fucking face. 419 00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:24,213 And I don't give a shit about your bitch-ass chair. 420 00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:28,174 Huh? Huh? 421 00:30:29,915 --> 00:30:33,092 All right, no, that's cool because I'm gonna refund half of y'all goddamn money 422 00:30:33,135 --> 00:30:34,789 because I don't need none of this bullshit. 423 00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,747 I'm gonna drop y'all back and go about my goddamn business. 424 00:30:36,791 --> 00:30:39,838 No, no, Sam, Sam, I'm sorry. Please, just listen to me for a second. 425 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:41,970 I'm so sorry about Scotty. Forget him, okay? 426 00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:44,059 Look, how about this? 427 00:30:44,103 --> 00:30:46,540 How about to make up for the stress of this departure, 428 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:49,891 we give you a little extra money, 429 00:30:49,935 --> 00:30:52,938 as long as you agree to maybe keep moving forward? 430 00:30:53,590 --> 00:30:54,853 And why the secrecy? 431 00:30:56,419 --> 00:30:57,420 Look. 432 00:30:58,639 --> 00:31:00,336 Our parents are very good people, but... 433 00:31:02,034 --> 00:31:03,122 You know, they don't really-- 434 00:31:03,949 --> 00:31:05,864 They can be a little overbearing. 435 00:31:06,516 --> 00:31:08,388 I'm thirty-five years old, Sam. 436 00:31:08,431 --> 00:31:11,957 I've never been on a trip without my mom, much less a real field trip. 437 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,264 And honestly, if it was up to my mom, I don't know that I ever would. 438 00:31:16,439 --> 00:31:18,050 Please, I need this, Sam. 439 00:31:19,442 --> 00:31:22,228 Am I gonna get any more bullshit from sweetheart back there? 440 00:31:23,403 --> 00:31:25,231 -Oh, I'm sweetheart now? -Yes. 441 00:31:25,274 --> 00:31:28,103 -So, sweetheart, you gonna be a problem? -Scotty. 442 00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:33,587 -I'm good. -Fucking better be. 443 00:31:35,502 --> 00:31:38,200 Jamie, pumpkin, this is not a joke. 444 00:31:38,244 --> 00:31:40,942 Your brother's in no condition to be traveling. Now where did they go? 445 00:31:41,464 --> 00:31:44,380 -I'll take your bike away for a month. -Honey, please answer us. 446 00:31:44,424 --> 00:31:47,949 -And your American Girl dolls. -Matty may need our help right now, sweetie. 447 00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:49,908 -And your phone. -What? 448 00:31:50,952 --> 00:31:54,956 Okay, fine. They went up north. That's all I know. 449 00:31:58,438 --> 00:32:01,049 -Hello? -Roger, it's Liz. 450 00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:02,921 I know where they're staying tonight. 451 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:06,054 ♪ I stepped in this bitch Like where's my damn crown♪ 452 00:32:06,098 --> 00:32:08,970 ♪ Never talk back, bitch I'm the king now♪ 453 00:32:09,014 --> 00:32:12,452 ♪ If you can't Back the shit talk Calm your ass down♪ 454 00:32:12,495 --> 00:32:15,324 ♪ Can't take this shit talk Calm your ass down♪ 455 00:32:15,368 --> 00:32:18,588 ♪ Hella sarcastic crass And ass backwards♪ 456 00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:21,591 ♪ You can get your ass kicked Please don't get dramatic♪ 457 00:32:21,635 --> 00:32:24,943 ♪ Motherfuck the whole earth Make the ho climactic♪ 458 00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,423 All right, guys. 459 00:32:30,296 --> 00:32:33,299 All right, who's paying? 460 00:32:37,172 --> 00:32:38,173 I'll get this one. 461 00:32:42,264 --> 00:32:43,352 Thank you. 462 00:32:44,832 --> 00:32:47,487 Don't buy any food because packed sandwiches for lunch. 463 00:32:47,530 --> 00:32:50,055 Okay, but I'm gonna buy some vacation candy. Do you want some? 464 00:32:50,098 --> 00:32:54,059 I can't do sweets, but have them put forty on pump three. 465 00:32:54,102 --> 00:32:56,191 All right, it's your vacation. 466 00:32:56,235 --> 00:32:59,151 Hey, yo, Mo, you going in? Score me a nudie mag, dude. 467 00:32:59,673 --> 00:33:01,631 What? No, no. 468 00:33:01,675 --> 00:33:04,634 -Goddamn it, Mo! -No, man, I wouldn't even know which one it is, okay? 469 00:33:04,678 --> 00:33:06,462 Top shelf on the magazine rack, covered in plastic. 470 00:33:06,506 --> 00:33:09,291 -I'm not picky. Grab whichever one you want. 471 00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:36,492 What's up? 472 00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:39,669 ♪ Now I don't need Distractions♪ 473 00:33:39,713 --> 00:33:42,063 ♪ Semiautomatic There's bullet holes In my alley♪ 474 00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:45,023 ♪ Yeah, I'm feeling my stuff And I got room For much more bragging♪ 475 00:33:45,066 --> 00:33:48,200 ♪ Hey, I seen a honey last year Money bag it♪ 476 00:33:48,243 --> 00:33:51,333 ♪ Nah, they be on my dick Gotta make her beg Bfore she can have it♪ 477 00:33:51,377 --> 00:33:54,554 ♪ My people win regardless Got great to start from starving♪ 478 00:33:54,597 --> 00:33:57,687 ♪ I sold a million seats Now I'm just waiting for that harvest♪ 479 00:33:57,731 --> 00:34:00,690 ♪ I been climbing You don't know how long It took me so now♪ 480 00:34:00,734 --> 00:34:03,476 ♪ I'm gonna have to grab The whole world by the pussy♪ 481 00:34:04,303 --> 00:34:06,827 I need you to stop. Forever. 482 00:34:12,093 --> 00:34:15,488 Mo, you fucking moron. A bridal magazine? 483 00:34:15,531 --> 00:34:18,447 -It's a bridal magazine? -What the hell am I supposed to do with a-- 484 00:34:20,623 --> 00:34:23,148 Actually, I can make this work. 485 00:34:29,241 --> 00:34:32,809 You guys, go get yourselves some dinner. I'm gonna check us in. 486 00:34:32,853 --> 00:34:34,811 But first I'm gonna need my per diem. 487 00:34:35,769 --> 00:34:37,205 I got gas. 488 00:34:37,249 --> 00:34:40,643 - I got it. In my pouch. -Okay. 489 00:34:42,819 --> 00:34:46,649 Now we agreed on 50, 490 00:34:47,563 --> 00:34:51,132 but we also agreed that I would be getting extra 491 00:34:51,176 --> 00:34:54,092 for dealing with all that bullshit I dealt with earlier. 492 00:34:55,397 --> 00:34:58,270 Great. I will take the hundred. 493 00:34:59,227 --> 00:35:00,359 Put it right in the bank. 494 00:35:01,490 --> 00:35:03,318 Have a nice dinner. 495 00:35:04,711 --> 00:35:07,322 I really believe I would be just as much a virgin 496 00:35:07,366 --> 00:35:10,108 -even if I could see perfectly. -No, I hundred percent agree with you. 497 00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:12,153 20/20 vision, I'd still have zero sex. 498 00:35:12,197 --> 00:35:14,155 You know what? A toast. Can we make a toast right now? 499 00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:16,418 -Yes, we can. -It's just who I am. 500 00:35:16,462 --> 00:35:19,378 -Hey, I'm making a toast. -We're making a toast. 501 00:35:19,421 --> 00:35:21,119 We're making a toast. Drinks up. 502 00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:24,470 To our road trip. 503 00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:28,648 No, no, no, our-- To our pilgrimage. 504 00:35:29,823 --> 00:35:33,435 And to the bevy of beauties awaiting us at Le Chateau Paradis. 505 00:35:33,479 --> 00:35:35,481 Or paradise in French, right? 506 00:35:35,524 --> 00:35:38,527 -It means heaven. -It's heaven. It means heaven. 507 00:35:38,571 --> 00:35:40,703 -What does? -Paradis, heaven. 508 00:35:40,747 --> 00:35:43,358 Whatever, man. Mo, it's my toast, and I'm saying-- 509 00:35:43,402 --> 00:35:44,794 -It's an inaccurate toast. -For the sake of this-- you know what? 510 00:35:44,838 --> 00:35:46,187 I wish you were mute instead of blind. 511 00:35:46,231 --> 00:35:48,450 Guys, guys, guys, come on, come on. Come on now. 512 00:35:48,494 --> 00:35:51,410 -Okay, okay, but most importantly-- -Yeah. 513 00:35:51,453 --> 00:35:52,672 to our boners. 514 00:35:53,325 --> 00:35:54,848 Scotty, shh. 515 00:35:55,501 --> 00:35:57,720 I'm having a moment. Can I have it? 516 00:35:57,764 --> 00:35:59,287 You guys never let me have a moment. 517 00:35:59,331 --> 00:36:00,767 You're always interrupting me and cutting me off. 518 00:36:00,810 --> 00:36:02,812 You can have your moment. You can have your moment. 519 00:36:02,856 --> 00:36:04,336 Can we just drink the fucking beer, man? 520 00:36:04,379 --> 00:36:05,554 -Indoor voice, man. -Okay, fine, indoor. 521 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,383 Shh, okay, okay, okay. All right, quiet. 522 00:36:08,427 --> 00:36:09,863 To our boners! 523 00:36:11,517 --> 00:36:16,391 For though our sight may have faltered, our legs given out, 524 00:36:16,435 --> 00:36:18,785 our joints railed against us, 525 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:24,269 our cocks stand strong and ready to serve us 526 00:36:24,312 --> 00:36:26,575 -in the pursuit of life and liberty-- -Let's wrap it up. 527 00:36:27,968 --> 00:36:29,926 and the chase of the inevitable hoo-hoo, 528 00:36:31,537 --> 00:36:32,886 the ineffable hoo-hoo, 529 00:36:34,757 --> 00:36:37,804 to old one-eye, may he stand tall-- go ahead, get ready to cheer. 530 00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:40,807 may he stand tall-- I'm almost done-- and do us proud. 531 00:36:41,764 --> 00:36:44,376 -Huh? Yeah. -We're sorry. 532 00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:47,161 We're not sorry. 533 00:36:47,205 --> 00:36:49,294 -I'm so glad I can't see this. -None of us is sorry. Eat your food. 534 00:36:49,337 --> 00:36:52,906 Okay. What do you wanna sleep in? 535 00:36:52,949 --> 00:36:55,213 Oh, I free-ball. I like letting my boys breathe. 536 00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:00,479 -Got sweats in my bag. -Sweats in your bag, okay. 537 00:37:00,914 --> 00:37:03,656 -Hey, quick game before lights out? -Yeah, sure. 538 00:37:06,572 --> 00:37:12,317 -You okay? -Uh, yeah, I'm fine. I just got a little bit dizzy. 539 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,971 Happens when I drop chaff for the ladies. 540 00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:20,325 -Sam? -What? 541 00:37:20,368 --> 00:37:22,370 Sam? Holy shit! Sam! 542 00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:23,893 - What's going on? -Sam! 543 00:37:23,937 --> 00:37:25,243 -Check her pulse. Is she dead? - What's happening? 544 00:37:25,286 --> 00:37:27,636 -Sam. Shit. -No, she just passed out. 545 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,377 Mo, call 911, call 911. 546 00:37:29,421 --> 00:37:32,859 Uh, well, don't just sit there. Give her CPR or something! 547 00:37:32,902 --> 00:37:35,427 You don't give CPR to someone who's breathing, dipshit. 548 00:37:35,470 --> 00:37:38,778 -I don't know! -Mo, Mo, I'll handle it. Just help her out. 549 00:37:42,521 --> 00:37:45,567 - Easy, watch her head, watch her head. -Oh fuck! She's-- 550 00:37:45,611 --> 00:37:46,873 Sam. 551 00:37:49,919 --> 00:37:51,312 Those are her tits! What are you doing? 552 00:37:51,356 --> 00:37:52,531 You told me to help, I'm trying to help! 553 00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:54,010 Well, don't cop a feel! Jesus! 554 00:37:54,054 --> 00:37:57,492 Hi. Um, uh, I need an ambulance in room 103, please. 555 00:37:57,536 --> 00:37:59,842 -Now you're smothering her. -Shut the fuck up. 556 00:38:00,626 --> 00:38:02,280 - Her heart's racing. -That's probably you. 557 00:38:04,412 --> 00:38:07,459 She has acute hypoglycemia. She's diabetic. 558 00:38:07,502 --> 00:38:09,809 She'll be fine, but we're gonna take her in as a precaution. 559 00:38:09,852 --> 00:38:11,289 You guys okay without her? 560 00:38:14,466 --> 00:38:18,992 Yeah. Yeah, we'll be okay. Um, when will she be back? 561 00:38:19,035 --> 00:38:22,300 We'll probably keep her overnight. She'll be back in the morning. 562 00:38:23,866 --> 00:38:24,867 Thank you. 563 00:38:35,574 --> 00:38:38,620 Relax, it's over. Everyone lived. 564 00:38:39,665 --> 00:38:41,536 What if she's not okay, man? What if she doesn't come back? 565 00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:44,060 We're not stranded in the wilderness. We're in a two-star motel. 566 00:38:44,104 --> 00:38:46,976 I guarantee you they have porn on these TVs. 567 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:50,328 We can take care of each other for one night, help each other out, yeah? 568 00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:53,461 Yes! Unlimited adult content, 12.99. 569 00:38:53,505 --> 00:38:55,333 Don't waste our money on that, please. 570 00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:56,638 - I'm not watching that with you. -God, I wish I could jerk off. 571 00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:59,685 -You have no idea how lucky you are. -Ah, shit! 572 00:39:00,903 --> 00:39:02,383 Sam has the room keys. 573 00:39:04,429 --> 00:39:06,039 I have these car keys though. That's useful. 574 00:39:07,519 --> 00:39:09,912 -I'm gonna go down to the lobby. - I'm ordering the porn! 575 00:39:12,611 --> 00:39:13,612 Mo, grab the remote. 576 00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:18,051 Mo? Hey, Mo, you know what'll make you feel better? 577 00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:20,706 Unlimited adult content, 12.99. 578 00:39:22,055 --> 00:39:23,883 Mo, are you crying? 579 00:39:25,493 --> 00:39:27,365 Scotty. 580 00:39:28,061 --> 00:39:29,497 I'm gonna take that remote, 581 00:39:30,629 --> 00:39:32,065 and I'm gonna beat your dick with it. 582 00:39:33,762 --> 00:39:34,720 Here you go. 583 00:39:36,286 --> 00:39:39,028 And don't forget to fill out that survey that we sent you 584 00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:40,595 with the email confirmation. 585 00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:42,554 You can get a free TV dinner 586 00:39:42,597 --> 00:39:43,729 from the vending machine. 587 00:39:44,469 --> 00:39:45,992 -Okay, thanks. -No problem. 588 00:39:50,039 --> 00:39:51,737 Hey, when did you send the email? 589 00:39:51,780 --> 00:39:54,043 Uh, you should have got it this morning. 590 00:39:54,087 --> 00:39:56,132 We just sent it to the email we had on file. 591 00:39:57,699 --> 00:39:59,092 What's the squishy sound? 592 00:39:59,135 --> 00:40:01,790 It's lube mixed with pu-- 593 00:40:01,834 --> 00:40:03,662 She brought lube? 594 00:40:03,705 --> 00:40:06,708 Scotty, does your mom have access to your email? 595 00:40:06,752 --> 00:40:08,449 Yeah, but I deleted everything. Scorched earth. 596 00:40:08,493 --> 00:40:10,712 Hey, check this out. We're watching Anal Therapy III. 597 00:40:10,756 --> 00:40:13,889 This place, they sent you an email confirmation this morning. 598 00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:18,459 Shit, my mom will definitely check. 599 00:40:18,503 --> 00:40:20,592 Littleton is nine hours from here. 600 00:40:20,635 --> 00:40:23,072 If they received the email this morning, that means right now, they'd be around... 601 00:40:25,466 --> 00:40:28,164 -Shit. -This is real bad. We gotta go. 602 00:40:28,948 --> 00:40:30,602 We gotta go right now. 603 00:40:30,645 --> 00:40:33,431 We're five minutes away. Yeah, Liz, next right, next right. 604 00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:36,738 Okay, well, I'll call you from there, okay? When we get there. 605 00:40:37,522 --> 00:40:38,697 I'll see if we can get us a cab. 606 00:40:38,740 --> 00:40:40,046 My chair can't fit in a cab, come on! 607 00:40:40,089 --> 00:40:41,526 -Where are we going? -To the van. 608 00:40:41,569 --> 00:40:43,919 Scotty. Hey, not to nitpick, 609 00:40:43,963 --> 00:40:45,617 but what are we gonna do when we get to the van? 610 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:49,882 All right. 611 00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:52,493 You guys realize I'm blind, right? 612 00:40:52,537 --> 00:40:55,061 -Yeah, just find the brake. I got this. -Okay, okay, what do I do? 613 00:40:55,104 --> 00:40:57,106 -On the floor, Mo. -Mo, on the floor. 614 00:40:57,150 --> 00:40:58,934 I was just getting another-- 615 00:40:58,978 --> 00:41:01,546 -Okay. Your right foot on the left pedal. -Right, of course, right. 616 00:41:01,589 --> 00:41:02,808 -Right foot. -No, I got it, right. 617 00:41:02,851 --> 00:41:05,158 You got it? Okay. This is a terrible idea. 618 00:41:05,201 --> 00:41:07,943 -You got a better one? -Please don't make me drive, guys, please. 619 00:41:07,987 --> 00:41:10,206 Mo, it's okay. Okay, so right foot on left pedal, right? 620 00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:14,036 That's home base, so whenever I say go home, that's your home base. 621 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,170 -Go home, got it. Okay? -Whenever in doubt, go home. 622 00:41:17,213 --> 00:41:19,564 -Go home. - Okay? 623 00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:21,740 -Bogey at 10 o'clock. -Mo, Mo, we gotta go. 624 00:41:21,783 --> 00:41:24,220 You can do this, okay? Scotty, give him some fucking encouragement. 625 00:41:24,264 --> 00:41:26,048 -Don't fucking kill us, Mo. - Scotty! 626 00:41:26,092 --> 00:41:27,223 Sorry, sorry. 627 00:41:27,267 --> 00:41:29,182 You're gonna be great, Mo. 628 00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,966 Just, you know, most people drive like they're blind anyway, 629 00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:32,620 so you got this in the bag. 630 00:41:32,664 --> 00:41:34,753 Okay, Mo, I'm gonna put the car into gear, 631 00:41:37,059 --> 00:41:42,848 and on my signal, I want you to slowly take your right foot off the brake, on my signal. 632 00:41:42,891 --> 00:41:44,632 -Okay. -Okay? 633 00:41:44,676 --> 00:41:48,027 Now slowly take your right foot off the brake now. 634 00:41:50,682 --> 00:41:53,554 You're doing great. A little more, a little more. 635 00:41:53,598 --> 00:41:57,732 -The brake, the brake, pull the brake! - Fuck! 636 00:41:58,994 --> 00:42:00,343 What happened? 637 00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:01,736 -What do you mean, what happened? -What'd I hit? 638 00:42:01,780 --> 00:42:03,216 -It's okay. - Fuck! 639 00:42:03,259 --> 00:42:06,175 -All right, guys, it's now or never. - No, never. 640 00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:07,220 Mo? 641 00:42:10,179 --> 00:42:11,267 Give it some gas. 642 00:42:13,705 --> 00:42:18,057 They say that there's like something going on where their bed is making noise 643 00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:21,843 when they're not on the bed, and so it sounds like they're concerned 644 00:42:21,887 --> 00:42:25,281 about if there's some kind of paranormal activity or something like-- 645 00:42:26,152 --> 00:42:30,635 What the guy said happened was-- Totally, one second, totally, totally. 646 00:42:30,678 --> 00:42:34,900 That he was sitting on the toilet, and he saw the sheets and the blanket 647 00:42:34,943 --> 00:42:38,817 fly off the bed of their own volition or whatever. 648 00:42:38,860 --> 00:42:43,561 Look, are you able to come down and talk to them because if I tell him 649 00:42:43,604 --> 00:42:47,129 that that didn't happen, I feel like I'm saying that there's like something 650 00:42:47,173 --> 00:42:49,741 going on with his room that-- 651 00:42:49,784 --> 00:42:54,659 I don't know if this guy has a past in some way. Do you know what I mean by that? 652 00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:56,008 -This is gonna work. -Okay, I'm fucking driving. 653 00:42:56,051 --> 00:42:57,096 -You got this. -Okay. 654 00:42:57,139 --> 00:42:58,750 -You got this! -Shh! 655 00:42:59,272 --> 00:43:01,709 All right, Mo, you're coming up at a light, okay? 656 00:43:01,753 --> 00:43:03,276 I need you to hit easy brake. 657 00:43:03,319 --> 00:43:05,800 -Easy brake, a little bit more. -Harder. 658 00:43:05,844 --> 00:43:09,804 -Mo, a little harder. -Mo, Mo. Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo, Mo-- 659 00:43:09,848 --> 00:43:12,677 - Stop! 660 00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:14,113 What are you, blind? 661 00:43:14,156 --> 00:43:15,984 This may be the worst idea I've ever had. 662 00:43:16,028 --> 00:43:19,292 Mo, when I tell you to stop, I really need you to stop, okay? 663 00:43:19,335 --> 00:43:22,121 When I fucking tell you, I can't drive a fucking van, I can't drive a fucking van! 664 00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:24,123 -Okay, guys, let's just chill out. -We're gonna go to jail. 665 00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:26,255 We're not going to jail. Just chill out. 666 00:43:27,256 --> 00:43:29,955 All right, listen. Hang a right, pull onto the highway. 667 00:43:29,998 --> 00:43:31,652 We gotta find somewhere else to crash. 668 00:43:31,696 --> 00:43:32,827 - Mo. Mo. The fucking highway! 669 00:43:33,393 --> 00:43:36,352 Management! Open up! 670 00:43:45,013 --> 00:43:45,971 No, they're not here. 671 00:43:47,059 --> 00:43:48,277 All their stuff is gone. 672 00:43:49,670 --> 00:43:50,802 What? 673 00:43:50,845 --> 00:43:53,326 No, no. That's just the neighbors. 674 00:43:55,328 --> 00:43:56,938 How do you... 675 00:43:56,982 --> 00:44:00,942 Looks like they got the unlimited adult content package. 676 00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:02,204 I'll have to call you back. 677 00:44:10,735 --> 00:44:11,866 So many channels. 678 00:44:13,433 --> 00:44:14,782 Can someone flip on my light? 679 00:44:15,696 --> 00:44:16,915 Kind of busy here, dude. 680 00:44:17,393 --> 00:44:19,918 I can't navigate if I can't see. 681 00:44:20,701 --> 00:44:23,661 All right, Mo, remember ten and two, what I told you? 682 00:44:24,139 --> 00:44:26,359 Yeah. Just like that, just hold it steady. 683 00:44:26,402 --> 00:44:28,317 You don't have to hold it so tight. 684 00:44:28,361 --> 00:44:31,320 Just keep it steady, keep it straight, okay? Just breathe. You're okay. 685 00:44:34,019 --> 00:44:36,935 -How's that, MapQuest? -MapQuest. 686 00:44:38,327 --> 00:44:39,894 I think I'm starting to get the hang of this. 687 00:44:41,722 --> 00:44:42,723 Mo, Mo, go home! 688 00:44:42,767 --> 00:44:44,333 Mo, Mo, the brake! Mo, the brake! 689 00:45:03,439 --> 00:45:04,440 Fuck! 690 00:45:06,007 --> 00:45:07,748 Is everyone okay? 691 00:45:07,792 --> 00:45:14,233 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you guys. I can't move my legs! 692 00:45:14,276 --> 00:45:16,017 -Mo, you okay? -I lost my glasses. 693 00:45:16,061 --> 00:45:17,758 -It's right here, it's right here. -I lost my fucking glasses. 694 00:45:17,802 --> 00:45:19,847 It's right here. It's around your neck, it's around your neck. 695 00:45:19,891 --> 00:45:21,980 -Woo! - Grab it. You have it. 696 00:45:22,763 --> 00:45:24,243 You hurt? Are you hurt anywhere? 697 00:45:25,070 --> 00:45:26,724 I think I'm okay. Where are we? 698 00:45:27,768 --> 00:45:29,161 I don't know. We're not driving anymore. 699 00:45:29,204 --> 00:45:31,076 You can take your hands off the wheel. 700 00:45:31,119 --> 00:45:32,381 I didn't wanna fucking drive! I told you I didn't wanna fucking drive! 701 00:45:32,425 --> 00:45:34,862 -Mo should always drive. -It was an accident. 702 00:45:35,471 --> 00:45:38,910 It was nobody's fault. Mo can't drive. Got it. 703 00:45:38,953 --> 00:45:42,130 -Highlight of the trip so far. -Scotty, don't, don't, just... 704 00:45:43,436 --> 00:45:47,788 -Ow! That was my dick. -Stop. Stop. Both of you. 705 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,008 Quiet. 706 00:45:51,096 --> 00:45:52,097 I'm gonna try to flag someone down. 707 00:45:57,450 --> 00:45:58,494 Or not. 708 00:45:59,931 --> 00:46:00,932 Scotty, 709 00:46:02,542 --> 00:46:05,110 remember when you said we're not stranded in the wilderness? 710 00:46:05,937 --> 00:46:07,808 Don't say shit like that ever again. 711 00:46:07,852 --> 00:46:09,941 Where are we? We're in the wilderness? 712 00:46:15,947 --> 00:46:18,297 Act really cool. Just act cool. 713 00:46:20,516 --> 00:46:22,910 Whoa. You see that? 714 00:46:22,954 --> 00:46:24,477 He's got somewhere else to go. 715 00:46:25,957 --> 00:46:27,349 We're good. 716 00:46:31,092 --> 00:46:32,267 Oh, shit. 717 00:46:32,311 --> 00:46:34,835 -What? -Oh, shit, oh, shit. 718 00:46:34,879 --> 00:46:36,010 Let me handle it, okay? 719 00:46:36,054 --> 00:46:37,055 Just let me handle it. 720 00:46:37,098 --> 00:46:38,273 Hello, officer. 721 00:46:38,317 --> 00:46:39,797 Oh, shit. 722 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:41,929 -Is your vehicle back there, the van? -Yeah, it is. 723 00:46:44,236 --> 00:46:46,934 -Which one of you is driving? -Sort of a team effort. 724 00:46:46,978 --> 00:46:49,328 -Yeah, I did the pedals. -They-- They are kidding. 725 00:46:49,371 --> 00:46:52,331 Our driver bailed to get help. That's why we're out here. 726 00:46:52,374 --> 00:46:53,854 Yeah. 727 00:46:55,203 --> 00:46:56,335 Everybody okay? 728 00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:59,120 Yeah, yeah, we swerved to avoid a deer, 729 00:46:59,164 --> 00:47:01,906 so that's how we ended up in a ditch. 730 00:47:01,949 --> 00:47:03,516 It was a deer. 731 00:47:03,559 --> 00:47:07,825 227, I've got two handicapped gentlemen. 732 00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:11,045 Sorry. Person with disabilities, please. 733 00:47:13,526 --> 00:47:15,528 Two persons with disabilities and a blind guy. 734 00:47:15,571 --> 00:47:18,139 Um, excuse me, it's visually impaired. 735 00:47:18,183 --> 00:47:19,271 Yup. 736 00:47:19,314 --> 00:47:21,403 Visually impaired gentleman. 737 00:47:22,143 --> 00:47:26,844 Um, gonna need a tow truck and a van equipped for the disabled-- 738 00:47:26,887 --> 00:47:30,325 the, um, persons with disabilities. 739 00:47:30,369 --> 00:47:31,544 Copy that. 740 00:47:37,028 --> 00:47:42,294 My cousin's brother-in-law has Down Syndrome, so... I know. 741 00:47:45,558 --> 00:47:47,647 -You good? -Yeah, we're good, thank you. 742 00:47:48,648 --> 00:47:50,606 -Not good. -She sounds happy. 743 00:47:50,650 --> 00:47:52,130 She's not. 744 00:47:58,049 --> 00:48:00,355 Does somebody wanna explain to me 745 00:48:00,399 --> 00:48:03,489 what in the entire fuck my van 746 00:48:03,532 --> 00:48:06,231 was doing in a ditch on the side of the highway? 747 00:48:08,233 --> 00:48:12,106 Oh, my God. You fuckers. This was a group decision. 748 00:48:12,150 --> 00:48:14,369 Our parents showed up at the motel. We had to bolt. 749 00:48:14,413 --> 00:48:17,372 -What are y'all keeping from me? -We just told you. Our parents were gonna squash 750 00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:19,244 the trip, and that's why-- yeah. 751 00:48:19,287 --> 00:48:22,638 Uh-huh! Bullshit, okay? This is not adding up. 752 00:48:22,682 --> 00:48:26,468 I want all the cards on the table right now or we won't go anywhere. 753 00:48:26,512 --> 00:48:27,905 I'll stay right here. 754 00:48:28,644 --> 00:48:31,952 Shit. Mo, Mo. 755 00:48:31,996 --> 00:48:33,432 What? No, Matt, you go talk to her. 756 00:48:33,475 --> 00:48:34,520 You talk to her. 757 00:48:34,563 --> 00:48:36,261 -She likes Mo. -She's very scary. 758 00:48:36,304 --> 00:48:38,959 -Mo, just go make out with her. -I don't care if she liked-- 759 00:48:39,003 --> 00:48:41,179 Hey, hey, hey, do not mention the brothel. 760 00:48:41,222 --> 00:48:43,964 Just don't mention the brothel. Seriously, yeah. 761 00:48:45,183 --> 00:48:46,924 Was that a yes? Shit. 762 00:48:47,620 --> 00:48:50,144 He's gonna-- I give him 45 seconds before he brings it up. 763 00:48:55,149 --> 00:48:59,545 -Sorry about the seat. I had to move it. -You drove? 764 00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:03,636 Well, it's a long st-- 765 00:49:06,508 --> 00:49:07,945 we were really worried about you. 766 00:49:09,859 --> 00:49:11,165 Look, it's not gonna happen again, if that's what you're worried about. 767 00:49:11,209 --> 00:49:13,472 No, Sam, we were worried about you. 768 00:49:15,343 --> 00:49:16,954 I'm just glad you're okay. 769 00:49:17,650 --> 00:49:19,521 It was scary, you know? 770 00:49:21,697 --> 00:49:23,003 Look, it's, um. 771 00:49:24,657 --> 00:49:28,313 It's really awkward to talk about. 772 00:49:31,055 --> 00:49:32,056 But you know, 773 00:49:33,231 --> 00:49:35,015 you don't get it. Guys like us, we-- 774 00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:38,497 we have a tough time with women. 775 00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:42,283 It's not like we're insensitive to the moral complications. 776 00:49:42,327 --> 00:49:45,417 By the way, I would never, ever-- I would never take advantage of anyone. 777 00:49:45,460 --> 00:49:50,117 It's just, it's not easy for us with the opposite sex, 778 00:49:50,161 --> 00:49:53,729 and Scotty found a place that, you know, caters 779 00:49:53,773 --> 00:49:57,255 to, you know, guys like us. 780 00:49:58,256 --> 00:50:02,608 Ah, you're going to get laid. 781 00:50:02,651 --> 00:50:07,265 Me, no. I would-- but we, I mean, I would never-- 782 00:50:07,308 --> 00:50:10,268 we are as buddies on a field trip. 783 00:50:11,269 --> 00:50:13,749 We're just-- yeah. 784 00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:19,668 Thank God. I thought you guys had a suicide pact or something. 785 00:50:19,712 --> 00:50:25,152 -Suicide pact? What? -Or maybe you were across-the-border drug mules. 786 00:50:25,196 --> 00:50:30,027 -I really don't know you, so... -No! No, we're not drug mules. 787 00:50:31,593 --> 00:50:35,336 No, that's absurd. No, we're just, uh, virgins. 788 00:50:38,339 --> 00:50:39,340 Okay. 789 00:50:40,820 --> 00:50:42,517 She's coming back. I cannot-- I can't read her face. 790 00:50:46,130 --> 00:50:47,653 I'll let you know right now. 791 00:50:47,696 --> 00:50:51,048 If you want me in the room, that's gonna be extra. 792 00:50:52,179 --> 00:50:53,398 -What room? -Yeah. 793 00:50:54,094 --> 00:50:56,662 -In the room with the hooker. - Mo! 794 00:50:56,705 --> 00:50:59,491 You had one thing not to say, and you said it. 795 00:50:59,534 --> 00:51:01,362 She thought we had a suicide pact. 796 00:51:01,406 --> 00:51:03,147 Why would we have a suicide pact? 797 00:51:03,190 --> 00:51:06,715 I have no idea, but I see a lot of weird shit on this job, okay? 798 00:51:06,759 --> 00:51:09,370 Does that mean we're good to go? 799 00:51:09,414 --> 00:51:11,285 Yeah, I'm not your mama. 800 00:51:11,329 --> 00:51:13,331 I'm not your mama, I'm not your girlfriend, 801 00:51:13,374 --> 00:51:15,594 and as long as you're a hundred percent honest with me, 802 00:51:15,637 --> 00:51:17,596 we're good. Let's get in the van. 803 00:51:18,771 --> 00:51:20,642 - Mo. - Mo. 804 00:51:29,260 --> 00:51:31,653 -What the hell? -Dude, if we're gonna listen to you, 805 00:51:31,697 --> 00:51:34,134 can we at least listen to some of your stuff? 806 00:51:34,178 --> 00:51:35,831 Some Scotty B? 807 00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:38,138 Hey, you guys know that Scotty has a secret life as a rapper? 808 00:51:38,182 --> 00:51:39,748 - Dude, don't be douche. - I was rolling up to his room, 809 00:51:39,792 --> 00:51:42,229 and I saw him in the middle of spitting his game. 810 00:51:42,273 --> 00:51:44,666 -Oh, man, do you want me to kick a beat for you? -Yeah! 811 00:51:44,710 --> 00:51:47,147 -Want a fresh beat? - Wait, is that serious? 812 00:51:47,191 --> 00:51:48,496 -Holy shit! -Let's do it, Scotty. 813 00:51:48,540 --> 00:51:50,194 -Come on, man! -Sam, you're good at that. 814 00:51:50,237 --> 00:51:52,544 -Come on, Scotty. -♪ My name is Scotty ♪ 815 00:51:52,587 --> 00:51:54,850 ♪ And I cannot rap My name is Scotty ♪ 816 00:51:54,894 --> 00:51:58,115 -Okay, I can't keep going. -Fuck you guys. 817 00:51:58,158 --> 00:51:59,638 What, you can dish it, but you can't take it? 818 00:52:07,515 --> 00:52:09,169 Who's at home missing you tonight? 819 00:52:10,301 --> 00:52:13,347 Um, just my mom. 820 00:52:14,566 --> 00:52:17,221 Though I'll tell you a little secret. 821 00:52:18,222 --> 00:52:20,398 I told her about this trip the night before we left. 822 00:52:20,833 --> 00:52:22,139 How'd she take it? 823 00:52:23,314 --> 00:52:25,316 -She cried. -Aw. 824 00:52:26,534 --> 00:52:30,495 Yeah, but then she actually wanted me to go. 825 00:52:32,758 --> 00:52:35,761 She said she'd keep the secret. 826 00:52:37,589 --> 00:52:41,245 Sweet. Her 35-year-old baby is about to lose his virginity. 827 00:52:43,247 --> 00:52:45,249 -Ha-ha. 828 00:52:45,901 --> 00:52:47,294 What about you? Who do you have at home? 829 00:52:47,903 --> 00:52:49,905 No one, really. I, um, 830 00:52:51,211 --> 00:52:54,388 I used to be married, but not anymore, thankfully. 831 00:52:55,346 --> 00:52:58,262 -What happened? -Oh, I shot him. 832 00:52:58,305 --> 00:53:00,351 -What? 833 00:53:00,394 --> 00:53:03,484 I shot him in the ass with some insulin. 834 00:53:03,528 --> 00:53:05,182 -Wait, really? -Yeah really. 835 00:53:05,225 --> 00:53:07,575 He was on top of our neighbor at the time, 836 00:53:08,794 --> 00:53:09,882 so serves him right. 837 00:53:11,188 --> 00:53:13,190 I mean, it was super fun when I was doing it, 838 00:53:13,233 --> 00:53:18,847 but, uh, then I lost my nursing license for three years. And-- 839 00:53:19,544 --> 00:53:20,980 So now I'm single. 840 00:53:25,550 --> 00:53:27,900 Can I ask you a question? Uh-- 841 00:53:29,380 --> 00:53:32,209 you know, this is my first time doing this, 842 00:53:32,252 --> 00:53:34,776 and I was thinking maybe since you're a nurse that you could... 843 00:53:34,820 --> 00:53:37,518 Wait. Do you think that just because I'm a nurse, 844 00:53:37,562 --> 00:53:41,348 -I can give you like sex tips? -Well, I mean, yeah. 845 00:53:41,392 --> 00:53:44,308 Okay, you are clearly as confused 846 00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:47,398 about the concept of nursing as you are about the concept of sex. 847 00:53:49,922 --> 00:53:51,489 Okay, I mean, now I am, yeah. 848 00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:58,452 Okay, I'm sorry. Just let biology take over. 849 00:53:59,279 --> 00:54:00,454 Don't plan anything. 850 00:54:06,591 --> 00:54:07,809 Where's that money? 851 00:54:08,680 --> 00:54:11,726 -Oh, uh, it's, um-- -Oh, right here. 852 00:54:11,770 --> 00:54:13,989 -No, I got-- Oh, sorry. -Sorry. 853 00:54:14,033 --> 00:54:16,383 -Oh, I see it. -There it is. 854 00:54:16,427 --> 00:54:17,732 Thank you. 855 00:54:18,472 --> 00:54:19,560 Nice tattoo. 856 00:54:21,606 --> 00:54:22,607 You felt that? 857 00:54:23,434 --> 00:54:26,915 Yeah, the ink, it raises the skin. 858 00:54:26,959 --> 00:54:29,875 -Sorry, I didn't mean to. -No, it's okay. 859 00:54:30,963 --> 00:54:32,399 Do you think I can, um, 860 00:54:34,706 --> 00:54:36,447 I bet if I touch it, I could tell you. 861 00:54:39,798 --> 00:54:41,452 Like that's a branch-- no, I mean, uh-- 862 00:54:42,540 --> 00:54:43,802 that's a small wing. 863 00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:46,065 Okay. 864 00:54:47,458 --> 00:54:48,894 Little bird? 865 00:54:50,809 --> 00:54:51,940 Is that a goldfinch? 866 00:54:52,811 --> 00:54:55,074 -Wow. 867 00:54:56,467 --> 00:54:58,686 - Move it! 868 00:54:58,730 --> 00:55:01,341 Ugh, sorry. 869 00:55:07,869 --> 00:55:10,568 ♪ Straightjacket living But I ain't no Houdini♪ 870 00:55:10,611 --> 00:55:13,353 ♪ Born inside a cage But nobody can free me♪ 871 00:55:13,397 --> 00:55:15,877 ♪ Everybody looking But don't nobody see me♪ 872 00:55:15,921 --> 00:55:19,664 ♪ It's like God gave me This body to tease me Believe me♪ 873 00:55:19,707 --> 00:55:21,840 ♪ Sometimes I wish That I was just a head♪ 874 00:55:21,883 --> 00:55:24,495 ♪ That maybe I would actually Get ahead♪ 875 00:55:24,538 --> 00:55:27,062 ♪ Instead I'm fucking sitting here Stuck in cement♪ 876 00:55:27,106 --> 00:55:29,978 ♪ Like Christopher Reeve Long after Clark Kent♪ 877 00:55:30,022 --> 00:55:32,720 ♪ At least he got to fly Play a man who was super♪ 878 00:55:32,764 --> 00:55:34,853 ♪ I can't even take An unassisted poop♪ 879 00:55:34,896 --> 00:55:37,725 ♪ But fuck your pity And fuck your stares♪ 880 00:55:37,769 --> 00:55:42,643 ♪ And if you ain't got a ramp Then fuck your stair-- Stairs♪ 881 00:55:44,384 --> 00:55:46,430 I think it's time to call the police. 882 00:55:46,473 --> 00:55:48,867 They went on a trip, Roger. They didn't get kidnapped. 883 00:55:49,650 --> 00:55:52,000 You know, Matt wouldn't have done this, unless he had a reason. 884 00:55:52,653 --> 00:55:53,959 I'm at a loss. 885 00:55:57,919 --> 00:56:01,488 Hi. I'm trying to locate my son, who may have used your services to take a trip. 886 00:56:01,532 --> 00:56:03,708 Last name, Kwong, also might be under Brandt. 887 00:56:25,077 --> 00:56:28,689 ♪ Hey, baby, open up I'm standing' Right at your door♪ 888 00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:34,695 ♪ Hey, baby, open up I'm standing' Right at your door♪ 889 00:56:37,132 --> 00:56:41,615 ♪ I've been gone too long And I miss you to the core♪ 890 00:56:43,574 --> 00:56:45,532 ♪ I wanna hug And kiss you, baby♪ 891 00:56:45,576 --> 00:56:47,578 ♪ I wanna love you all night long♪ 892 00:56:49,841 --> 00:56:51,669 ♪ I'm gonna hug And kiss you, baby♪ 893 00:56:51,712 --> 00:56:54,019 ♪ Gonna love ya All night long♪ 894 00:57:00,591 --> 00:57:02,723 -Hey, where you going? -In for the kill. 895 00:57:02,767 --> 00:57:04,595 Nice. We'll be here. 896 00:57:05,117 --> 00:57:06,118 Cute girls? 897 00:57:06,814 --> 00:57:09,034 This place is like a babe vortex. 898 00:57:09,077 --> 00:57:11,689 No wonder I wasn't getting laid back home. All the hotties were here. 899 00:57:11,732 --> 00:57:14,518 Yeah, it's got nothing to do with your rancid personality. 900 00:57:14,561 --> 00:57:16,650 Wait, hold up. What about Sarah, man? 901 00:57:16,694 --> 00:57:19,087 From the clinic? What about her? 902 00:57:19,131 --> 00:57:21,481 -She likes you, man. -Get the fuck out of here. 903 00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:24,832 Fact, every time you come in there, she starts biting her fingernails. 904 00:57:24,876 --> 00:57:28,140 -How do you know that? -Well, because, you know, I pay attention, unlike you 905 00:57:28,183 --> 00:57:33,493 because you're too busy always eye-groping Becky's, you know, big... 906 00:57:33,537 --> 00:57:35,060 -You talking about titties? -Yup. 907 00:57:35,103 --> 00:57:38,759 -Okay. -First of all, I don't eye-grope, okay? 908 00:57:38,803 --> 00:57:41,022 I happen to live at tit level. 909 00:57:41,066 --> 00:57:43,503 Everywhere I go, all I see are tits, tits, tits. 910 00:57:43,547 --> 00:57:45,636 That's the personality I was talking about. 911 00:57:46,593 --> 00:57:48,813 What's going on? Cute girls? 912 00:57:48,856 --> 00:57:50,989 -Oh. - See what I mean? 913 00:57:51,032 --> 00:57:54,035 -Okay, I get it. -If Sarah is so awesome, why don't you just ask her out? 914 00:57:54,079 --> 00:57:55,820 No, man, not my type. 915 00:57:55,863 --> 00:57:58,692 -What is that, exactly? -What is my-- 916 00:57:58,736 --> 00:58:01,782 my type is like, uh, I like... 917 00:58:01,826 --> 00:58:05,569 -Hey, you guys ready for another drink? -Yes, absolutely. 918 00:58:05,612 --> 00:58:07,962 -Nah, I'm good. -Mo, grow a scrotum. 919 00:58:08,006 --> 00:58:09,790 You're getting fucked up with us tonight. 920 00:58:09,834 --> 00:58:11,792 All right, I'll have one more vodka cran. That's it. 921 00:58:11,836 --> 00:58:14,839 -Whiskey. You got it. -Here we go. 922 00:58:17,972 --> 00:58:20,540 -She's growing on me. -Yeah, man, she's cool. 923 00:58:21,541 --> 00:58:25,240 It was a bachelorette party, and most of them have boyfriends. 924 00:58:25,284 --> 00:58:26,764 -Over there? -Mm-hmm. 925 00:58:26,807 --> 00:58:28,809 -Aw. -We can do better. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 926 00:58:28,853 --> 00:58:30,768 -I'll come with you. -I'll hold the fort. 927 00:58:34,728 --> 00:58:35,816 Excuse me. 928 00:58:36,643 --> 00:58:37,818 I'm never going home. 929 00:58:39,864 --> 00:58:43,171 Hey, check it out. I think the Special Olympics are in town. 930 00:58:43,215 --> 00:58:45,260 What's that called, the blind leading the cripple? 931 00:58:46,044 --> 00:58:48,046 Come one, come on! 932 00:58:57,925 --> 00:59:01,755 Hi, I'm trying to locate my son, who might have used your services to take a trip. 933 00:59:01,799 --> 00:59:04,018 Last name, Kwong, also might be under Brandt. 934 00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:08,806 You do? 935 00:59:12,505 --> 00:59:16,030 What's up, baby girl? I like a lady with some junk in her trunk. 936 00:59:17,205 --> 00:59:21,209 -Blow me, asshole. -That's a compliment, bitch. 937 00:59:21,253 --> 00:59:23,255 Look, who is you calling a bitch? 938 00:59:23,298 --> 00:59:26,127 Yo, why don't you take your girlfriend home before I beat her ass? 939 00:59:26,171 --> 00:59:28,042 She's a feisty one too, huh? I like that. 940 00:59:28,739 --> 00:59:31,785 Do you? Do you like that? What are you doing? 941 00:59:32,917 --> 00:59:36,224 Oh, shit, seriously? You're with Special Olympics? 942 00:59:36,268 --> 00:59:40,707 You're gonna apologize to her right now, or you will be sorry. 943 00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:43,275 Oh, this guy wants to fight me. Oh, I love it. 944 00:59:43,318 --> 00:59:46,844 You're lucky, bro. You don't have to look at her. She's a real two-bag special. 945 00:59:46,887 --> 00:59:48,585 -Fuck you. - Forget him. Let's go. 946 00:59:48,628 --> 00:59:51,892 -No, man, she's coming around. -Oh! Shit. 947 00:59:52,763 --> 00:59:53,981 -Oh, yeah? -What are you-- 948 00:59:54,025 --> 00:59:55,156 - Did you just hit him? -Bitch! 949 00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:58,682 We have to go. Okay, we have to go. Matt! 950 01:00:00,118 --> 01:00:02,947 You just fucked up. Oh! 951 01:00:02,990 --> 01:00:06,124 Aah! 952 01:00:07,125 --> 01:00:08,169 Jesus! 953 01:00:18,919 --> 01:00:21,313 -Woo! 954 01:00:23,707 --> 01:00:26,057 -Like when I came at that guy with my chair? -Incredible. 955 01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:29,147 Can we not get cocky? It was three on one, all right? 956 01:00:29,190 --> 01:00:33,760 Yeah, but we're a good team. We're like the-- we're like the dynamic duo. 957 01:00:33,804 --> 01:00:38,025 -Yeah, we should go pro. -We should go semi-pro at least. 958 01:00:40,332 --> 01:00:42,769 Hey, that looks pretty fun up there. 959 01:00:42,813 --> 01:00:45,293 Mo, you got legs. Show us what you got. 960 01:00:45,337 --> 01:00:47,687 -Oh, no, no, I don't dance. -Come on! 961 01:00:47,731 --> 01:00:49,950 -I do not dance. -You don't dance? 962 01:00:49,994 --> 01:00:51,996 -No. -Put your drink down. 963 01:00:52,039 --> 01:00:53,780 -No, no, I'm serious. - Yes. 964 01:00:53,824 --> 01:00:56,348 -Okay. - Oh, this is happening. 965 01:00:56,391 --> 01:01:00,004 - No, no, no - Yes. Yes. 966 01:01:02,136 --> 01:01:05,879 Oh, this'll be a disaster. Hey, hey, Matt, where you going? 967 01:01:06,837 --> 01:01:08,012 Don't leave me here, dude. 968 01:01:09,796 --> 01:01:10,797 Matt. 969 01:01:27,727 --> 01:01:28,685 Hey. 970 01:01:32,471 --> 01:01:33,994 Give me another shot. 971 01:01:42,046 --> 01:01:43,961 So are you guys like hanging out here for a little bit, 972 01:01:44,004 --> 01:01:45,876 -or are you... -We're on our way to Montreal. 973 01:01:46,354 --> 01:01:50,054 -Okay. -Yeah, because there's a great hiking trail there. 974 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:53,927 That was a joke. 975 01:01:53,971 --> 01:01:56,843 -I got it, I got it. -I'm glad you got it. 976 01:01:59,063 --> 01:02:00,760 - Hey. - Hey. 977 01:02:00,804 --> 01:02:02,457 Time to go, Romeo. 978 01:02:02,501 --> 01:02:05,330 Hey, you guys go on ahead. I think I'm gonna hang back. 979 01:02:05,373 --> 01:02:08,855 -How you gonna get back to the hotel? -I'll figure it out. 980 01:02:08,899 --> 01:02:10,117 - You sure? -Yeah. 981 01:02:10,161 --> 01:02:12,250 - He's fine. Let's go. -Be safe. 982 01:02:14,078 --> 01:02:16,080 Have fun with your bachelorette. 983 01:02:19,431 --> 01:02:21,999 - Uh! 984 01:02:30,877 --> 01:02:33,271 Hey, uh, sorry I missed your call. What's up? 985 01:02:36,404 --> 01:02:37,841 Yeah, they're with me. Why? 986 01:02:38,798 --> 01:02:41,496 I love this city in the summer. It gets so hot. 987 01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:44,499 -Cold as fuck during the winter. -Yeah, exactly. 988 01:02:44,543 --> 01:02:48,068 You know what one of my favorite things to do in the summer is? 989 01:02:48,112 --> 01:02:51,202 -What? -Swim in Lake Michigan. 990 01:02:51,245 --> 01:02:53,944 -Wait, have you been to the beach yet? -No, no, I haven't. 991 01:02:54,814 --> 01:02:56,773 Oh, so we should go? 992 01:02:56,816 --> 01:02:59,427 -You mean like right now? -Yeah. 993 01:03:02,953 --> 01:03:06,826 What, you're serious? I mean, are we even allowed to be there at night? 994 01:03:06,870 --> 01:03:07,958 No. 995 01:03:09,437 --> 01:03:10,438 But... 996 01:03:14,007 --> 01:03:16,967 It is the only time that we can go skinny dipping. 997 01:03:20,144 --> 01:03:21,188 Can you swim? 998 01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:24,931 I got arms. 999 01:03:32,025 --> 01:03:33,592 What do I do? What do I do? 1000 01:03:35,028 --> 01:03:37,596 -Aah! -What do I need to do? 1001 01:03:49,129 --> 01:03:51,175 Oh, my head feels like a hurt factory. 1002 01:03:52,393 --> 01:03:55,962 Maybe because you dropped it like a bunker bus around that guy's face last night. 1003 01:03:56,484 --> 01:03:58,399 What was that thing you made me drink? 1004 01:03:58,443 --> 01:04:00,010 It's called the Dirty Sanchez. 1005 01:04:00,880 --> 01:04:04,536 Bald Turkey whiskey and 151 Bacardi, a shot of espresso. 1006 01:04:05,580 --> 01:04:06,843 You did four. 1007 01:04:06,886 --> 01:04:08,496 -What? -Mm-hmm. 1008 01:04:08,540 --> 01:04:10,542 It vastly improved your dance moves though. 1009 01:04:14,938 --> 01:04:16,461 Where's Scotty? 1010 01:04:17,592 --> 01:04:20,030 I think he had a rough night, man. 1011 01:04:20,944 --> 01:04:21,901 What happened? 1012 01:04:23,555 --> 01:04:26,863 I don't know, man. I think sometimes he hurts more than we know. 1013 01:04:31,171 --> 01:04:32,390 Fuck's taking so long up here? 1014 01:04:36,307 --> 01:04:39,136 Hey, man, I heard you had a rough night. 1015 01:04:40,224 --> 01:04:41,965 Listen, I know what it's like. 1016 01:04:42,008 --> 01:04:43,967 Got some pills here if you want to take, 1017 01:04:44,010 --> 01:04:45,272 -take the edge off for you. -What'd you say? 1018 01:04:47,405 --> 01:04:49,015 -I said I have a bunch of pain pills that you can take. -You know what it's like? 1019 01:04:50,538 --> 01:04:52,976 Yeah, dude. You're not the only one with problems. 1020 01:04:54,412 --> 01:04:55,413 Really? 1021 01:04:56,675 --> 01:04:57,632 You think just because you're in that chair 1022 01:04:57,676 --> 01:04:59,112 it makes us anything alike? 1023 01:05:00,157 --> 01:05:02,072 Come talk to me when you can't take a shit by yourself. 1024 01:05:02,115 --> 01:05:05,075 Talk to me when you spend a night crawling out of your skin 1025 01:05:05,118 --> 01:05:07,251 because you can't move. You know what it's like? 1026 01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:09,906 Try this on for size. You don't know dick. 1027 01:05:10,994 --> 01:05:13,170 -Ugh, finally. 1028 01:05:16,129 --> 01:05:19,611 Do you have any idea how irresponsible you've been? 1029 01:05:20,438 --> 01:05:21,439 Come on. 1030 01:05:23,354 --> 01:05:25,573 Do you realize I had to cancel very important business calls? 1031 01:05:25,617 --> 01:05:27,967 How could you not tell us that you were leaving? 1032 01:05:28,011 --> 01:05:31,362 We ditched our phones that's why we weren't picking up. 1033 01:05:31,405 --> 01:05:33,973 We thought you were dead. We were so scared. 1034 01:05:34,017 --> 01:05:36,410 Oh, my God, that's so dramatic, so dramatic! 1035 01:05:36,454 --> 01:05:38,151 I was so scared. 1036 01:05:40,458 --> 01:05:42,068 We're not kids! We're grown ass men! 1037 01:05:42,112 --> 01:05:43,940 If we wanna go on a fucking trip, we can go on a fucking trip! 1038 01:05:43,983 --> 01:05:45,506 -Scotty, calm down, man. -No! 1039 01:05:45,550 --> 01:05:47,247 I've been putting up with this bullshit all my life, okay? 1040 01:05:47,291 --> 01:05:49,032 -Oh, Scott! -Yeah. 1041 01:05:49,075 --> 01:05:52,383 It's been so hard for you. So melodramatic? Oh, my God. 1042 01:05:52,426 --> 01:05:56,082 I'm melodramatic? I'm not the one who chased their kid all the way to fucking-- 1043 01:05:56,126 --> 01:05:59,042 -That's enough, okay? We're leaving. -What do you mean? 1044 01:05:59,085 --> 01:06:00,957 -We've got a plane to catch. -No. 1045 01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:06,005 -Matthew, this is not up for discussion. -Stop it! Stop! 1046 01:06:06,049 --> 01:06:07,964 -Come on, Matthew. -We're going to a brothel. 1047 01:06:11,663 --> 01:06:13,621 What the fuck, Matt? 1048 01:06:13,665 --> 01:06:15,623 For the record, this was not my idea. 1049 01:06:15,667 --> 01:06:19,018 These guys wanted to lose their virginity, and I, you know-- 1050 01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:21,020 I thought we were going on a fun field trip. 1051 01:06:21,064 --> 01:06:23,283 Stop calling it a field trip. It's not a fucking field trip. 1052 01:06:23,327 --> 01:06:25,546 -What is it, the fifth grade? -Oh, then what is it? 1053 01:06:25,590 --> 01:06:27,461 -It's a road trip! -What's the difference? 1054 01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:29,681 -Twenty years! -You know what? I'm with Mo on this. 1055 01:06:29,724 --> 01:06:31,988 Well, congratulations. You ruined everything. 1056 01:06:32,031 --> 01:06:34,033 You ruined last night. You're ruining this. 1057 01:06:34,077 --> 01:06:35,600 You're a selfish prick. 1058 01:06:35,643 --> 01:06:38,124 I'm a selfish fucking prick. I'm a selfish fucking prick? 1059 01:06:38,168 --> 01:06:40,997 -I'm a selfish fucking prick? Fuck you! -Fuck you! 1060 01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,608 -I'm fucking selfish?! Are you fucking kidding me? -Fuck you! 1061 01:06:43,651 --> 01:06:45,392 -Stop, stop, stop! -Come on! Come at me! 1062 01:06:45,436 --> 01:06:48,308 Fuck you, man! You know what? You know what? 1063 01:06:48,352 --> 01:06:51,572 You two aren't virgins because you two are disabled, okay? 1064 01:06:51,616 --> 01:06:54,010 You're a fucking virgin because you're a loser, 1065 01:06:54,053 --> 01:06:57,448 -and you're a fucking virgin because you're an asshole! -Matt! 1066 01:07:16,554 --> 01:07:17,555 I'm sorry. 1067 01:07:23,126 --> 01:07:25,737 I didn't tell you because I was ashamed. 1068 01:07:27,260 --> 01:07:30,089 But I'm not ashamed anymore. 1069 01:07:35,834 --> 01:07:37,488 And I'm not asking for permission. 1070 01:07:45,148 --> 01:07:48,847 -I should-- I should know-- -Can I? Please, please stop. Just-- 1071 01:07:52,590 --> 01:07:54,418 For once don't talk, okay? Just listen. 1072 01:07:59,510 --> 01:08:00,815 I'm 24 years old. 1073 01:08:03,122 --> 01:08:05,081 I need to know what sex is gonna be like for me. 1074 01:08:06,517 --> 01:08:10,608 This guy told me about a place up in Montreal-- 1075 01:08:13,176 --> 01:08:14,699 that caters to people like us. 1076 01:08:18,181 --> 01:08:19,269 So that's where we're going. 1077 01:08:23,751 --> 01:08:24,796 Roger. 1078 01:08:28,278 --> 01:08:29,279 Uh-- 1079 01:08:31,150 --> 01:08:32,108 Give us a minute. 1080 01:08:37,722 --> 01:08:41,378 -I'm sorry I didn't call. -No, no, I should know. I should know this about you. 1081 01:08:41,421 --> 01:08:44,424 I should know this. Of course, you would wanna do something like this. 1082 01:08:44,468 --> 01:08:46,296 -This is my fault. -No, it's not your fault. 1083 01:08:46,339 --> 01:08:48,602 -It is, it is. It's not. -No, listen to me, stop. 1084 01:08:48,646 --> 01:08:50,430 -But no, but you-- -Stop beating yourself up. 1085 01:08:50,474 --> 01:08:52,345 -You need to trust me. -Ma, I do trust you. 1086 01:08:52,389 --> 01:08:53,694 It's just, "Mom, I want a hooker," 1087 01:08:53,738 --> 01:08:55,870 is not the easiest conversation to have. 1088 01:08:55,914 --> 01:08:58,482 -I understand. -You know? It's a little-- 1089 01:08:59,309 --> 01:09:00,484 It's dicey. 1090 01:09:06,664 --> 01:09:07,665 I love you. 1091 01:09:09,232 --> 01:09:10,494 Sorry I didn't call. 1092 01:09:27,554 --> 01:09:29,774 I understand it's morally ambiguous 1093 01:09:29,817 --> 01:09:32,298 and a little bit dangerous, but we have to let them do this. 1094 01:09:32,342 --> 01:09:35,171 -This is what young men do. -A little bit dangerous? No, listen to yourselves. 1095 01:09:35,214 --> 01:09:38,739 I am not signing off on a trip to a whorehouse. 1096 01:09:38,783 --> 01:09:40,872 -Stop calling it that. -That's what it is. 1097 01:09:40,915 --> 01:09:43,353 -Sex workers. -They need to know there's nothing wrong 1098 01:09:43,396 --> 01:09:45,572 -with what they want. -Yes. 1099 01:09:45,616 --> 01:09:46,573 You can't be serious. 1100 01:09:48,358 --> 01:09:51,883 Actually, I am. So, get over your discomfort. 1101 01:09:51,926 --> 01:09:53,580 We are going to support him in this, 1102 01:09:53,624 --> 01:09:55,408 and we are going to pay for it too. 1103 01:09:55,887 --> 01:10:00,413 You listen to me. This is not happening. No, no, and no. 1104 01:10:05,505 --> 01:10:08,900 Y'all look pissed off, but let me just say before you get a attitude with me, 1105 01:10:08,943 --> 01:10:10,728 that none of this is actually my fault. 1106 01:10:10,771 --> 01:10:13,383 They were gonna report me to my fucking nursing board. 1107 01:10:13,426 --> 01:10:16,516 Then it'd be over. Two strikes and I'd be done, okay? 1108 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:19,258 And on top of that, like I don't even really do this, 1109 01:10:19,302 --> 01:10:22,479 like all these like long haul like road trips or whatever. 1110 01:10:22,522 --> 01:10:23,784 -Sam. -Like I don't really do that. 1111 01:10:23,828 --> 01:10:26,831 I do short trips, and I do in-home. 1112 01:10:26,874 --> 01:10:30,313 I get in, I get out, I mind my goddamn business. 1113 01:10:30,356 --> 01:10:31,618 - Sam. -What? 1114 01:10:31,662 --> 01:10:33,446 Trip's back on. We can go. 1115 01:10:35,579 --> 01:10:36,754 Oh, okay, cool. 1116 01:11:20,798 --> 01:11:22,800 Where are we going? I thought the hotel was downtown. 1117 01:11:22,843 --> 01:11:26,282 Actually, your parents canceled your reservation and gave you an upgrade. 1118 01:11:43,081 --> 01:11:45,344 Holy crap. You ever taken a steam before? 1119 01:11:45,388 --> 01:11:48,956 -What? They got a sauna in here? -Oh, dude, amazing. 1120 01:11:49,000 --> 01:11:51,611 Wow. They got a Jacuzzi out back. I say we hit that later too. 1121 01:11:51,655 --> 01:11:54,788 -Yes. Oh my God! Talk about a workout, huh? -Yeah. 1122 01:11:54,832 --> 01:11:56,747 -This place is great. -Where's the douche bag? 1123 01:11:57,661 --> 01:12:02,318 -Dude, by the way, I was thinking about that. -Ow! Look at this! 1124 01:12:02,361 --> 01:12:04,363 -Will you stop? It's just a dress. -What's going on? 1125 01:12:04,407 --> 01:12:06,931 -Sam is in a very nice dinner dress. -Ooh. 1126 01:12:06,974 --> 01:12:10,630 -So, when do you wanna go to the Le Chateau Paradis? -Tomorrow. 1127 01:12:10,674 --> 01:12:15,069 -Yeah, today's out for me, so-- -Yeah. I think tomorrow is good. 1128 01:12:15,113 --> 01:12:18,421 -How about just dinner on the town tonight? -Okay. 1129 01:12:19,552 --> 01:12:23,121 -Dinner tonight, prostitution tomorrow. -Okay. 1130 01:12:34,045 --> 01:12:35,742 Hello. No one's talking. 1131 01:12:37,875 --> 01:12:39,355 I wouldn't know. I'm just a loser. 1132 01:12:44,534 --> 01:12:45,622 Mo, I'm sorry I-- 1133 01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:48,538 called you a loser, I didn't mean it. 1134 01:12:50,148 --> 01:12:51,367 That's all right, man. 1135 01:12:51,932 --> 01:12:53,717 I'm sorry I threw you under the bus. 1136 01:12:54,718 --> 01:12:56,633 I should have had your back, back there. 1137 01:12:58,156 --> 01:12:59,157 I'm sorry. 1138 01:13:05,119 --> 01:13:07,905 Hey, where's my apology? Hey, Matt. 1139 01:13:07,948 --> 01:13:09,646 -Dude, can you take it easy? -No, no, no, no. 1140 01:13:09,689 --> 01:13:10,951 He got an apology. I want one too. 1141 01:13:10,995 --> 01:13:12,692 You left me at a table by myself in Chicago. 1142 01:13:12,736 --> 01:13:14,825 You called me an asshole in front of my mother. 1143 01:13:14,868 --> 01:13:16,130 I mean, what the fuck is that? 1144 01:13:17,436 --> 01:13:18,611 I would love an apology. 1145 01:13:22,572 --> 01:13:23,573 I'm sorry. 1146 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:25,749 That wasn't very genuine. 1147 01:13:26,489 --> 01:13:27,751 What are you sorry for, Biceps? 1148 01:13:27,794 --> 01:13:30,536 Where you going, huh? 1149 01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:32,712 I said what are you sorry for? 1150 01:13:32,756 --> 01:13:33,974 - Scotty. -What? 1151 01:13:35,106 --> 01:13:36,150 He's dying. 1152 01:13:40,154 --> 01:13:42,113 That's why he's been taking all the pills, dude. 1153 01:13:44,332 --> 01:13:46,030 You would have noticed that if you weren't too busy being an asshole all the time. 1154 01:13:57,694 --> 01:13:58,695 Knock, knock. 1155 01:14:03,874 --> 01:14:05,789 You're right, I am an asshole. 1156 01:14:07,921 --> 01:14:08,922 Yeah. 1157 01:14:14,754 --> 01:14:15,886 It's part of your charm. 1158 01:14:26,897 --> 01:14:27,898 I, uh, 1159 01:14:32,163 --> 01:14:34,818 spend a lot of time feeling like I was on the outside of stuff. 1160 01:14:38,517 --> 01:14:39,475 It sucked. 1161 01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:44,480 Ever since we all started hanging out, it-- 1162 01:14:45,263 --> 01:14:47,874 I don't know, it just feels different, like I'm included. 1163 01:14:52,096 --> 01:14:53,489 When you bailed on us, 1164 01:14:54,794 --> 01:14:56,622 it felt like I was back on the outside. 1165 01:15:03,629 --> 01:15:04,630 I'm sorry. 1166 01:15:09,679 --> 01:15:10,680 Can I ask you a question? 1167 01:15:12,638 --> 01:15:13,683 Are we friends? 1168 01:15:18,731 --> 01:15:19,863 Of course, we're friends. 1169 01:15:28,654 --> 01:15:29,655 Hey. 1170 01:15:35,226 --> 01:15:36,227 Thank you. 1171 01:15:38,577 --> 01:15:39,535 For what? 1172 01:15:43,234 --> 01:15:44,235 For this. 1173 01:15:54,158 --> 01:15:59,772 -You wanna take my knight with your bishop, G8 to D5. -Oh, you are so annoying. 1174 01:16:00,294 --> 01:16:02,645 Why are you even playing with me? 1175 01:16:02,688 --> 01:16:04,081 You're basically playing yourself. 1176 01:16:04,124 --> 01:16:07,301 I don't know how you do-- and how did you... 1177 01:16:08,259 --> 01:16:10,609 Like how did you see my tattoo earlier? 1178 01:16:13,307 --> 01:16:18,008 I mean, you know, it's something I just taught myself. 1179 01:16:19,052 --> 01:16:20,837 So, growing up, 1180 01:16:22,142 --> 01:16:23,709 I walked myself to and from school, 1181 01:16:23,753 --> 01:16:25,102 and there were these walls with these murals, 1182 01:16:25,145 --> 01:16:26,625 and I really wanted to see them. 1183 01:16:27,365 --> 01:16:28,322 So, uh... 1184 01:16:29,672 --> 01:16:32,283 yeah, that was how I figured it out. 1185 01:16:34,633 --> 01:16:38,637 -Well, it's a cool party trick. -Yeah, I didn't go to many parties growing up. 1186 01:16:43,294 --> 01:16:45,862 Do you wanna finish reading my tattoo? 1187 01:16:48,952 --> 01:16:50,780 Yeah. Yeah, sure. 1188 01:16:51,650 --> 01:16:52,695 Okay, I'm gonna... 1189 01:16:54,435 --> 01:16:57,264 -I'll just get a little close to you, if that's okay. -Okay. 1190 01:16:57,308 --> 01:16:58,962 -Yeah, just gonna... -Okay. 1191 01:17:05,708 --> 01:17:07,971 Okay, so that's the bird, 1192 01:17:08,014 --> 01:17:10,103 the goldfinch, which... 1193 01:17:10,147 --> 01:17:14,194 usually represents sacrifice or rebirth. 1194 01:17:14,978 --> 01:17:18,111 And the raising up of a person over their sick bed. 1195 01:17:19,373 --> 01:17:21,637 Then what do these branches mean? 1196 01:17:22,725 --> 01:17:26,642 White heather. They represent protection and luck. 1197 01:17:32,778 --> 01:17:33,910 You have really soft skin. 1198 01:17:34,867 --> 01:17:36,347 That's because I'm black. 1199 01:17:37,957 --> 01:17:38,958 Hold up. 1200 01:17:39,742 --> 01:17:40,743 You're black? 1201 01:17:48,751 --> 01:17:51,362 Guys, I gotta-- I gotta ask you guys something. 1202 01:17:52,711 --> 01:17:56,193 -What's up? -It's kind of awkward, so don't make fun of me, all right? 1203 01:17:56,236 --> 01:17:58,674 Yeah, of course. Yeah, what's up? 1204 01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:01,067 -I need one of you to shave my dick. -Fuck no. No dude. 1205 01:18:01,111 --> 01:18:03,417 -It's hard for me to even ask. -Yeah, I would hope so. 1206 01:18:03,461 --> 01:18:05,768 -No, uh-uh. -I mean, yeah. Mo, you should do it. 1207 01:18:05,811 --> 01:18:07,726 -What? -Yeah, you won't be scarred by the visual. 1208 01:18:16,082 --> 01:18:17,083 Just in case. 1209 01:18:24,395 --> 01:18:26,397 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1210 01:18:27,311 --> 01:18:29,139 You're like Redfoo upside-down. 1211 01:18:29,879 --> 01:18:32,011 -Why am I here again? -I just need you for moral support. 1212 01:18:32,055 --> 01:18:35,058 Plus, I've never seen anybody with pubic hair extensions. 1213 01:18:35,101 --> 01:18:37,103 You can be a jerk about this, or you can just get it done. 1214 01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:39,236 -Might as well. -Right? 1215 01:18:44,110 --> 01:18:46,983 -Thanks again for doing this. Really appreciate it. 1216 01:18:47,026 --> 01:18:49,812 - Uhm. 1217 01:18:53,424 --> 01:18:54,468 Ooh, breezy. 1218 01:18:58,821 --> 01:18:59,909 Hey there. 1219 01:19:59,882 --> 01:20:01,057 Looking good, fellas. 1220 01:21:31,060 --> 01:21:34,193 - Bonjour. Welcome. - Hello. 1221 01:21:35,368 --> 01:21:36,892 Right this way, gentlemen. 1222 01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,005 Wow. 1223 01:22:03,614 --> 01:22:06,922 -Drinks? -Bourbon. Make it a double. 1224 01:22:07,574 --> 01:22:09,620 -Same. -Water is fine. 1225 01:22:59,061 --> 01:23:00,018 What's your name? 1226 01:23:01,193 --> 01:23:03,108 Scotty. What's yours? 1227 01:23:03,761 --> 01:23:04,762 Chantal. 1228 01:23:06,372 --> 01:23:07,983 Nice to meet you. 1229 01:23:10,028 --> 01:23:10,986 Come. 1230 01:23:30,701 --> 01:23:31,702 You're very beautiful. 1231 01:23:34,270 --> 01:23:35,271 Thank you. 1232 01:23:41,364 --> 01:23:42,713 You want to, uh... 1233 01:23:44,323 --> 01:23:46,586 No. I mean, yeah. 1234 01:23:46,630 --> 01:23:50,547 No, just, uh-- not just yet. 1235 01:23:54,725 --> 01:23:55,726 Wanna help me with that drink? 1236 01:23:56,814 --> 01:23:58,381 Oui.Relax. 1237 01:24:09,218 --> 01:24:10,393 Could use another one of those. 1238 01:24:28,411 --> 01:24:30,239 Mo. Mo. 1239 01:24:33,590 --> 01:24:35,809 Hey. Mo, what the fuck? 1240 01:24:35,853 --> 01:24:38,464 Dude, I'm sorry, Scotty, I can't do it, okay? 1241 01:24:38,508 --> 01:24:41,206 You came 2,000 miles to not have sex with one of these beautiful women? 1242 01:24:41,250 --> 01:24:43,078 -Mo, they're throwing themselves at us. -That's exactly what's wrong 1243 01:24:43,121 --> 01:24:45,732 with this place. It is not real, okay? 1244 01:24:48,648 --> 01:24:50,389 Look, I'm happy for you. 1245 01:24:50,433 --> 01:24:53,262 It's gonna be great, and I'm sure it's amazing, but for me, 1246 01:24:53,305 --> 01:24:56,656 I just-- I just can't, man. It just... 1247 01:24:57,744 --> 01:25:02,314 I think I just need my first time to be with someone special. 1248 01:25:02,358 --> 01:25:03,359 Yeah, I want that too. 1249 01:25:05,883 --> 01:25:07,363 But that's not gonna happen for me. 1250 01:25:08,277 --> 01:25:10,627 I know that. I've made my peace with it. 1251 01:25:13,238 --> 01:25:16,502 -Hope you don't judge me for it. -Never, never. I... 1252 01:25:25,163 --> 01:25:26,121 Go get her, buddy. 1253 01:25:30,908 --> 01:25:31,909 You too. 1254 01:26:49,421 --> 01:26:50,857 Sam, you know, I just... 1255 01:26:52,816 --> 01:26:56,341 We've known each other for four days. Four days, eight states. 1256 01:26:56,385 --> 01:26:58,648 Is it eight states? Eight states. 1257 01:26:58,691 --> 01:27:00,867 We've known each other for four days and eight states. 1258 01:27:00,911 --> 01:27:02,739 I'd like to know you for more days. 1259 01:27:03,957 --> 01:27:08,527 All the days, because, you know, I really like-- that's stupid. 1260 01:27:10,355 --> 01:27:13,663 The-- Sam, the road 1261 01:27:14,403 --> 01:27:17,406 to Le Chateau Paradis, it's so bumpy. 1262 01:27:22,454 --> 01:27:23,455 Sam? 1263 01:27:24,021 --> 01:27:25,240 It's got eight. 1264 01:27:49,002 --> 01:27:50,613 I'm gonna need a little help getting over. 1265 01:27:52,571 --> 01:27:53,572 I'll get someone. 1266 01:28:04,888 --> 01:28:05,976 Does it bother you? 1267 01:28:07,673 --> 01:28:08,674 The chair? 1268 01:28:10,067 --> 01:28:11,808 My brother has. 1269 01:28:13,592 --> 01:28:14,898 Your brother's in a wheelchair? 1270 01:28:17,770 --> 01:28:20,643 It means I understand. 1271 01:28:45,929 --> 01:28:46,930 Wait, wait. 1272 01:28:49,106 --> 01:28:51,021 I'm sorry, can you just, um... 1273 01:28:52,675 --> 01:28:55,460 tell me something about you? 1274 01:28:55,504 --> 01:28:59,856 -Uh, y-you want me to... -Tell me something. Just anything. 1275 01:29:00,509 --> 01:29:01,510 Like, uh, 1276 01:29:03,425 --> 01:29:04,600 what kind of music do you like. 1277 01:29:05,775 --> 01:29:06,993 You know Garou? 1278 01:29:07,733 --> 01:29:10,127 -Ga-- -Ga-Garou, no? 1279 01:29:11,824 --> 01:29:14,349 It's okay. Just forget it. That was stupid. 1280 01:29:20,529 --> 01:29:24,402 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1281 01:29:27,971 --> 01:29:31,583 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 1282 01:29:33,411 --> 01:29:37,850 ♪ Happy birthday Dear Scotty ♪ 1283 01:29:40,940 --> 01:29:43,073 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 1284 01:29:44,770 --> 01:29:45,771 ♪ To ♪ 1285 01:29:46,990 --> 01:29:47,991 ♪ You ♪ 1286 01:30:45,527 --> 01:30:46,615 To the new couple. 1287 01:30:47,529 --> 01:30:48,965 -Ew, don't. -Stop it. 1288 01:30:49,008 --> 01:30:50,880 And the brothel that brought them together. 1289 01:30:50,923 --> 01:30:54,449 -Easy. -Just chill out. We're just having fun. 1290 01:30:55,058 --> 01:30:56,189 I have a question. 1291 01:30:57,713 --> 01:31:00,977 Forget any disabilities. 1292 01:31:01,978 --> 01:31:04,546 Forget anything that might be holding you back. 1293 01:31:07,200 --> 01:31:08,854 What would you wanna do with your life? 1294 01:31:10,856 --> 01:31:11,857 Anyone? 1295 01:31:19,735 --> 01:31:21,519 Before my surgery, I was a boxer. 1296 01:31:24,261 --> 01:31:26,045 Really wanted to turn pro. 1297 01:31:30,659 --> 01:31:32,878 But as long as I get to retire by the beach, 1298 01:31:34,576 --> 01:31:35,533 I'm good. 1299 01:31:41,191 --> 01:31:42,192 Mo? 1300 01:31:44,107 --> 01:31:45,630 Uhm-- 1301 01:31:48,894 --> 01:31:51,854 Honestly, I just always wanted to be a dad. 1302 01:31:52,550 --> 01:31:54,944 Though I will say, I do, when I have kids, I want to... 1303 01:31:55,858 --> 01:32:01,516 like coach them in baseball, and then we'd like move up together, like... 1304 01:32:02,691 --> 01:32:06,042 in Little League and then maybe like middle school, high school, I don't know. 1305 01:32:07,217 --> 01:32:09,045 Maybe we'll all go pro together. 1306 01:32:13,136 --> 01:32:14,180 Scotty? 1307 01:32:14,964 --> 01:32:17,836 I don't know. Skip me. 1308 01:32:17,880 --> 01:32:19,751 -What? No. - We're not skipping you. 1309 01:32:19,795 --> 01:32:21,840 -No, I don't wanna say. -Come on. 1310 01:32:21,884 --> 01:32:23,538 - We're all going. - It's not fair. 1311 01:32:23,581 --> 01:32:24,974 You can't do that. We're not gonna make fun of you. 1312 01:32:25,017 --> 01:32:26,932 - We wanna know. - Yeah, no. 1313 01:32:26,976 --> 01:32:28,717 Sam, how about you? 1314 01:32:34,070 --> 01:32:36,942 Well, I always wanted to be an artist. 1315 01:32:37,943 --> 01:32:41,033 But I didn't think it was a very realistic path, 1316 01:32:41,077 --> 01:32:43,688 so I went to nursing school, 1317 01:32:44,646 --> 01:32:49,259 which turned out to be perfect because I... 1318 01:32:51,087 --> 01:32:54,917 I really love feeling needed. 1319 01:32:58,094 --> 01:32:59,095 So... 1320 01:33:00,531 --> 01:33:06,015 I am exactly where I wanna be at this very second. 1321 01:33:11,281 --> 01:33:12,587 You feel any different? 1322 01:33:17,287 --> 01:33:18,593 Not really. You? 1323 01:33:21,726 --> 01:33:23,772 I thought it was gonna be this monumental shift. 1324 01:33:24,337 --> 01:33:25,730 Yeah, me too. 1325 01:33:31,127 --> 01:33:32,824 Feel a little empty, actually. 1326 01:33:33,390 --> 01:33:37,133 Like the whole thing made me want something... 1327 01:33:38,308 --> 01:33:43,052 more, something that doesn't just end abruptly. 1328 01:33:48,797 --> 01:33:49,972 I hope you find that person. 1329 01:33:55,804 --> 01:33:57,806 Hey, can you promise me something when we head back? 1330 01:33:58,937 --> 01:34:01,636 I just want you to find a stage, get on it, 1331 01:34:02,680 --> 01:34:05,988 grab a mic, you wreck it, just once. 1332 01:34:06,031 --> 01:34:09,078 No, man. Dude, when you look like I do, 1333 01:34:09,121 --> 01:34:10,819 you want less eyes on you, not more. 1334 01:34:11,384 --> 01:34:14,344 -Besides I would suck. -Well, what are they gonna say to you? 1335 01:34:16,172 --> 01:34:17,260 They're not gonna boo you. 1336 01:34:18,391 --> 01:34:19,436 You're in a chair. 1337 01:34:22,265 --> 01:34:23,353 One condition. 1338 01:34:25,268 --> 01:34:27,052 You gotta be up on that stage with me. 1339 01:34:31,187 --> 01:34:32,188 Mm-hmm. 1340 01:34:33,711 --> 01:34:34,669 Deal. 1341 01:34:57,039 --> 01:34:58,040 Matt? 1342 01:35:19,104 --> 01:35:20,236 Matt? 1343 01:35:34,511 --> 01:35:35,512 Matt. 1344 01:35:42,127 --> 01:35:43,128 Matt! 1345 01:35:59,841 --> 01:36:01,407 Matt! 1346 01:36:32,482 --> 01:36:39,228 I'll miss you for teaching me math, but I won't miss you for hogging the bathroom. 1347 01:36:41,447 --> 01:36:44,363 I'm so happy that you were my big brother, 1348 01:36:44,407 --> 01:36:47,323 and I'll miss you forever and ever. 1349 01:36:52,154 --> 01:36:56,114 The family wanted to have an opportunity for anyone not on the program 1350 01:36:56,158 --> 01:36:58,900 who may feel called to share a few words. 1351 01:37:01,250 --> 01:37:04,427 -Okay, let's move on to-- - We do. 1352 01:37:43,988 --> 01:37:46,991 Down a little bit. Less. Yeah, right there. 1353 01:37:47,949 --> 01:37:51,909 Left, left. That's-- Whatever. 1354 01:37:51,953 --> 01:37:53,563 Uh, so I'm Scotty, 1355 01:37:54,520 --> 01:37:56,044 and I'm here because... 1356 01:37:56,958 --> 01:37:59,264 I promised Matt that I'd do something, and... 1357 01:37:59,308 --> 01:38:02,050 I don't want him coming back to haunt my ass because I blew it off. 1358 01:38:03,225 --> 01:38:06,358 My only condition was that he be up here with me when I do this. 1359 01:38:08,491 --> 01:38:10,232 Guess it's now or never, home slice. 1360 01:38:11,320 --> 01:38:12,321 Hit it. 1361 01:38:20,329 --> 01:38:22,374 Clap your hands everybody. 1362 01:38:23,549 --> 01:38:25,334 We're here to celebrate a life. 1363 01:38:26,639 --> 01:38:27,640 I tried. 1364 01:38:31,253 --> 01:38:33,603 ♪ Coming to you live This is Scotty In the steeple♪ 1365 01:38:33,646 --> 01:38:36,475 ♪ Here to rap a eulogy To all you lovely people♪ 1366 01:38:36,519 --> 01:38:39,348 ♪ Stand up if you can While I stay seated♪ 1367 01:38:39,391 --> 01:38:42,264 ♪ This ain't a party for pity That shit is unneeded♪ 1368 01:38:42,307 --> 01:38:45,049 ♪ It's a celebration Of this guy right here♪ 1369 01:38:45,093 --> 01:38:48,052 ♪ who taught me Not to be a pussy And overcome my fears♪ 1370 01:38:48,096 --> 01:38:50,663 ♪ I'm a glass half-empty But I can still be full♪ 1371 01:38:50,707 --> 01:38:53,971 ♪ And I don't need my limbs To bare my soul♪ 1372 01:38:54,015 --> 01:38:56,539 ♪ So, wipe away your tears And hear my story♪ 1373 01:38:56,582 --> 01:38:59,324 ♪ About three horny cripples On a quest for glory♪ 1374 01:38:59,368 --> 01:39:02,284 ♪ Matt was hesitant at first When I told him the plan♪ 1375 01:39:02,327 --> 01:39:05,243 ♪ Hightail it to a whorehouse In a Handi-Van♪ 1376 01:39:05,287 --> 01:39:08,072 ♪ This particular brothel sat North of the border♪ 1377 01:39:08,116 --> 01:39:10,988 ♪ Which for these three dudes Was a pretty tall order♪ 1378 01:39:11,032 --> 01:39:13,599 ♪ But he came onboard And we were road tripping♪ 1379 01:39:13,643 --> 01:39:16,515 ♪ Gotta find some better ladies Cause these hos tripping♪ 1380 01:39:16,559 --> 01:39:19,605 ♪ We were unstable, disabled And tired of the diss labels♪ 1381 01:39:19,649 --> 01:39:22,565 ♪ It was our turn To turn tables and prove We weren't unable♪ 1382 01:39:22,608 --> 01:39:26,438 ♪ To get it up and get it in I'm not sorry, Father For I have sinned♪ 1383 01:39:27,483 --> 01:39:30,268 ♪ So, what, we can't walk So, what, we can't see♪ 1384 01:39:30,312 --> 01:39:33,054 ♪ We just getting off Like human beings♪ 1385 01:39:33,097 --> 01:39:36,187 ♪ And it's not our fault It's not how we asked to be♪ 1386 01:39:36,231 --> 01:39:39,103 ♪ We gonna find some dignity♪ 1387 01:39:39,147 --> 01:39:41,453 ♪ So, what, we can't walk So, what, we can't see♪ 1388 01:39:41,497 --> 01:39:44,413 ♪ We just getting off Like human beings♪ 1389 01:39:44,456 --> 01:39:47,590 ♪ And it's not our fault It's not how we asked to be♪ 1390 01:39:47,633 --> 01:39:51,115 ♪ We gonna find some dignity Find some dignity♪ 1391 01:39:51,159 --> 01:39:54,031 ♪ I gotta say It's kind of odd♪ 1392 01:39:54,075 --> 01:39:56,207 ♪ To find myself preaching In a house of God♪ 1393 01:39:56,251 --> 01:39:59,384 ♪ What? After all it was He Who put me in this chair♪ 1394 01:39:59,428 --> 01:40:02,387 ♪ With no means to escape Or avoid the stares♪ 1395 01:40:02,431 --> 01:40:05,303 ♪ Then Biceps came along Taught me to power through♪ 1396 01:40:05,347 --> 01:40:08,176 ♪ To go with my flow And just do what I do♪ 1397 01:40:08,219 --> 01:40:11,353 ♪ To not let The wheels beneath me Hold the wheels in my mind♪ 1398 01:40:11,396 --> 01:40:14,312 ♪ And now my engine is revving ♪ And my pistons are firing 1399 01:40:14,356 --> 01:40:17,315 ♪ And my brain is awake And my gear is in drive♪ 1400 01:40:17,359 --> 01:40:21,102 ♪ Thanks to my friend Matt I'm finally alive♪ 1401 01:40:21,145 --> 01:40:24,583 ♪ Ooh♪ 1402 01:40:24,627 --> 01:40:27,282 ♪ So, this one's for Matt He made me see♪ 1403 01:40:27,325 --> 01:40:30,285 ♪ In spite of this chair I can still be free♪ 1404 01:40:30,328 --> 01:40:33,505 ♪ And he may have passed on But he's still a part of me♪ 1405 01:40:33,549 --> 01:40:35,725 ♪ Bye for now And rest in peace♪ 1406 01:40:35,768 --> 01:40:38,771 ♪ Everybody So, what, we can't walk So, what, we can't see♪ 1407 01:40:38,815 --> 01:40:41,470 ♪ We just getting off Like human beings♪ 1408 01:40:41,513 --> 01:40:44,386 ♪ And it's not our fault It's not how we asked to be♪ 1409 01:40:44,429 --> 01:40:49,086 ♪ We gonna find some dignity Find some dignity♪ 1410 01:40:49,130 --> 01:40:50,218 ♪ Peace out, bitches♪ 1411 01:40:50,261 --> 01:40:52,220 ♪ Dignity♪ 1412 01:40:54,309 --> 01:40:55,571 Uh, drop the mic, Mo. 1413 01:40:55,614 --> 01:40:57,486 No, drop it. Mo, drop the mic, it's gangster. 1414 01:40:57,529 --> 01:40:58,617 Yeah, yeah. 1415 01:41:20,161 --> 01:41:21,205 Hey, Scotty. 1416 01:41:25,514 --> 01:41:27,603 I'm really sorry to hear about Matt. 1417 01:41:28,343 --> 01:41:29,605 That's so awful. 1418 01:41:31,041 --> 01:41:32,434 I mean, I didn't really even know that he was sick. 1419 01:41:33,435 --> 01:41:34,436 Thanks. 1420 01:41:38,222 --> 01:41:40,572 Other than that, the trip was pretty awesome. 1421 01:41:40,616 --> 01:41:42,270 You know what they say: It ain't a real bro's trip 1422 01:41:42,313 --> 01:41:44,185 unless somebody comes back in a body bag. 1423 01:41:47,188 --> 01:41:49,407 -It's a thing. -Oh, no, I've heard that. 1424 01:41:49,451 --> 01:41:50,495 Yeah. 1425 01:41:51,192 --> 01:41:55,370 Keep going. Keep going. 1426 01:42:00,157 --> 01:42:01,506 Hey, so, um, 1427 01:42:03,378 --> 01:42:07,643 I was gonna check out this rapper over at the Bluebird on Friday night, 1428 01:42:08,818 --> 01:42:10,863 if you wanted to come with. 1429 01:42:12,300 --> 01:42:14,040 Or not. It's no biggie either way. 1430 01:42:14,084 --> 01:42:17,740 I actually can't on Friday night. I'm so sorry. I have a thing. 1431 01:42:19,220 --> 01:42:20,264 Oh. 1432 01:42:23,833 --> 01:42:25,835 But, Scotty, what about Saturday night? 1433 01:42:27,228 --> 01:42:28,316 Maybe just like dinner. 1434 01:42:29,317 --> 01:42:30,318 Dinner. 1435 01:42:31,232 --> 01:42:32,276 Like a date. 1436 01:42:32,320 --> 01:42:33,669 Yeah, like a date. 1437 01:42:36,715 --> 01:42:37,673 Okay. 1438 01:42:41,677 --> 01:42:42,721 Cool. 1439 01:43:00,696 --> 01:43:04,917 And they were going on a trip to get-- Asta, well, how shall we put it? 1440 01:43:04,961 --> 01:43:08,225 Prostitutes. Asta, so what was the trip about? 1441 01:43:08,269 --> 01:43:12,621 The road trip was about me experiencing 1442 01:43:12,664 --> 01:43:15,406 what the sexual side was in Holland. 1443 01:43:15,450 --> 01:43:20,846 And obviously the government helped people with disabilities out there 1444 01:43:20,890 --> 01:43:23,849 to have a sexual experience. I was like, "Wow, I've gotta go see this." 1445 01:43:23,893 --> 01:43:26,243 And was that the first time you had had sexual relations? 1446 01:43:26,287 --> 01:43:29,899 Absolutely, yeah. So, for me it was just completely mind blowing. 1447 01:43:29,942 --> 01:43:31,988 And you were like, "Oh, this is what people have been talking about? 1448 01:43:32,031 --> 01:43:35,383 -Okay, I can get behind this." -The parents or caregivers don't even realize 1449 01:43:35,426 --> 01:43:37,733 that they have a need for sexual experience 1450 01:43:37,776 --> 01:43:40,344 and that's what I want to help with. When you are in a situation 1451 01:43:40,388 --> 01:43:44,479 where you're in a wheelchair and you're getting judged every day from society, 1452 01:43:44,522 --> 01:43:49,614 then it's hard for-- I don't see how someone who hasn't even been 1453 01:43:49,658 --> 01:43:51,660 in that arena, could come up to me and say, 1454 01:43:51,703 --> 01:43:54,271 "Well, why don't you just go out and get your own girlfriend, man?" 1455 01:43:54,315 --> 01:43:57,535 -It's just like-- -Easy to say, yeah. Kiss my ass, you know. 1456 01:43:57,579 --> 01:44:00,538 Somebody says, "Oh, no, no. You're not allowed to have that kind of fun." 1457 01:44:00,582 --> 01:44:03,715 Okay, and I have a few words for them, "Piss off!"